Out of Touch

Movement Twelve: Tacet

I was walking with Alaina around town that night. We had finished with her stuff getting to work at the same store as Matt and I but I asked to hang around with her a little longer. I knew I had to come clean. I should. I was so happy for her right now. I was so happy with her right now. She was giving me all I could think of. All I could ask for. I stopped walking.

"Andy?" Alaina turned around to look at me. 

"Alaina, I love you," I said.

She froze. "What?"

"Alaina, I love you," I grabbed her cold cheeks in my warm hands. She was only an arms length away now. "I love you, Alaina."

"What?" She asked again.

"I...I love you, Alaina. You know what I see when I look at you? I see a girl that can make me feel things I have never felt before. I see a girl that is everything I want. I see a girl that I want to fall asleep next to. I see a girl that I want to hold. That I want to kiss. That I want to own every part of my body. I am attracted to you more than I've ever been attracted to anyone."

Tears started to fall out of her eyes. The warm tears dripped along my fingers as they began to turn cold in the freezing weather. Come on, Andy.

"I fell in love with your face and your beautiful mind and your personality is so cute. I fell in love with your body. I love you Alaina, for all these reasons and more. Please be with me."

She started laughing and wiping her tears away. 

"Andy," she said quietly, "I love you. And I have for a while now before I realized it."

"Then it's settled. I want to be yours. I have decided this is going to happen. You have no choice, I'm sorry."

She laughed again. I hugged her close.

"I love you," I whispered in her ear.

"I love you too," she whispered back. "Just so you know, these are tears of happiness and disbelief. Not sadness. I promise."

"It's fine," I rested my face right beside her neck. "Can I kiss you?"

"I've never been kissed before. I'm like extra virgin olive oil. Never been kissed, never slept around, never been loved, and never had a boyfriend before. I'm kinda scared but sure."

I hesitated a moment then. She was so much more different than me. She was the kind of person you innocently held and took cozy naps with, not the one you kiss and let pin you down and ravage you mercilessly.

This was going to be a different kind of love.

Maybe I needed that.

I tried to kiss her but I hit the side of her mouth.

"Sorry, I got scared," she let out a nervous laugh.

I rested my hand on her cheek. She instinctively closed her eyes. I took aim. I landed perfectly on her lips, chapped slightly from the cold. Her cheeks were cold too. The world was cold. But I had finally found my own warmth. 

"Does this mean we're dating now?" she asked, hope in her eyes.

"Yes," I smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," she grinned.

"Follow me," I grabbed her hand.

We walked to the coffee shop, gloved hand in ungloved hand. I bought her hot chocolate and myself too. This was a momentous occasion. I had finally found someone who made me happy again. Someone who restored my faith in love. 

Matt could eat my dick.

I hugged her before she went on home. I was so happy with her. 

If only it could last forever.