Gives Me Hope

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We are staying in a beautiful rented apartment in New York for a couple of promotional events for Trouble In Shangri-la. It's honestly been a relief to not have to deal with all that's going on at the house. We are redecorating and doing a few more things Lindsey had put off for so long. I love it there and I consider it home but after what happened, maybe a little change is what I need. We are getting started on the nursery and I'm excited to see how it turns out. I've also been promised a shopping trip after I film my interview with Rosie since I never got to shop for Aria when I was pregnant with her. Lindsey doesn't seem too excited but he swore he wouldn't complain because I deserve my "girly" time.

I woke up early to get a jump on getting ready. Karen was especially shocked to see me up. I had started a pot of coffee, made breakfast for Aria and started on breakfast for Lindsey. I made myself a small, simple omelet then went back down the hall to take my shower after Karen offered to take over the cooking and help me keep an eye on our daughter. I tried to be kind of quick about it but I ended failing miserably.
"Stevie, we have to go!" Karen yells. I had finished my make up but was still adjusting my clothes and fixing my hair. I felt good about the way I looked and I felt even better when Lindsey gave me the most lovely look.
"You look incredible! Wow!" He tells me, kissing me.
"Really? Tell me, how good do I look, baby?" I ask in a seductive tone. My hormones lately have been going haywire and I'd give anything to go back to our room and rip his clothes off.
"Good enough to eat" he says, nipping at my neck. He plants kisses up and down my neck and shoulders and his hands travel down to my bum, squeezing it. We are kissing and groping hungrily but we know this can go nowhere with Karen inches away.
"Okay, knock it off you two! This is how you got pregnant in the first place!" Karen says, interrupting us. "We have to hit the road!" We giggle like school children as we pull ourselves away from one another, both of us with matching pink cheeks.

Karen takes Aria to the car and we head off to the studio. Traffic is hell, its early and I'm honestly getting tired already. The only thing keeping me awake is nerves. We are greeted warmly by not only Rosie but by her lovely staff. Everyone there is so inviting and so very funny. I can relax a little, knowing everyone is looking out for me and would never do something to upset me. It's a great environment. I'm checked on every now and then. I sit in my dressing room, playing with Aria while Lindsey talks to Rosie's band leader. Karen is going over schedules and making sure we have everything figured out. After a while, people begin to clear out of my dressing room and I know filming has started. The escort me out and I'm holding onto my husband for dear life. He picks up my hand and kisses it, trying to calm me. I'm shaking, my palms are sweaty and when we stand at the side, he gives me a quick hug.

After her monologue, I am all set up for my performance. The mics are adjusted and the lighting is set. A girl comes over and fixes my hair ever so slightly then I'm able to begin. I'm nervous as hell before the camera comes on, it's written all over my face. Lindsey nods encouragingly from the side and I smile at him. The music starts and by grace, it all melts away.

Don't keep me hangin' on a string
Tell me what I feel is no big thing
Don't turn away I'm listening
Over and over again

Don't give me visions to explain
There are no doubts I feel the strain
Of all my senses yearning
Over and over again

Every day I see you
Every day I need you
Every way I breathe you
On and on and on and on again... again

It's not important to wonder why
What is just is no more to imply
This simple thought repeating
Over and over again

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