Christmas is tomorrow and I cannot, for the life of me, relax. He massages my back, makes me a snack, rubs the belly but nothing works, not even the bubble bath he draws for me is any relief. "I'll stay up and keep you company" he says.
"No, you need your sleep"
"So do you, but since you can't get situated, let me at least be here for you"
"Promise me that if you get sleepy, you will go to bed"
"Promise"
"Alright then"
"Is it too early? You said you were tired before, that's why I thought we'd try. Big day tomorrow"
"I don't think that's it"
"Is something on your mind? Is that why you can't sleep?"
"Not really, my love" I say, going over to our grand Christmas tree. I smile a little, remembering us decorating it.
The Weekend They Reunited:
"It's here!" I squeal with child like glee.
"Move out of the way so they can bring it in!" He tells me, pulling me to the kitchen counter. He shows me the cup of hot chocolate he made me and tells me to stay right there.
"I'm so excited!" I tell him and kisses me.
"Jesus Stevie! You said you bought a simple tree"
"I did"
"This thing is huge!"
It is taking quite a few people coming in and out to put this thing up. "Okay so maybe I didn't realize how big it was truly going to be. I just wanted it to be pretty"
"I'm sure it will be. We will need someone to decorate it and take it down for us...it's just, wow!"
"You hate it, don't you?" I ask, tearfully.
"Stop that, I love it. Come on, you're Stevie Nicks! Stevie Nicks does not do little trees" He cuddles me, making me feel better. "You were right about not being in the condition to chop down a tree. You're less than half its size!" He rubs the bump and kisses my temple. "I love you. I'm so glad you got this monster of a tree. I wasn't even going to celebrate this year"
"Why? Christmas is a magical time of year"
"You weren't here, my love. I didn't have you, I didn't have our little girl. I didn't even know she was a girl! I was alone and depressed. After the things I said..."
I put my hand over his mouth. "Shh, don't talk about that"
We are interrupted by the workers asking us if we wanted help decorating the higher parts and we gladly agreed. They were so kind, asking us about traditions, telling us about ones they had growing up. It was wonderful to have people over after it has just been us. I made a popcorn garland and it would been been much longer without Lindsey eating it. We strung lights up and I gave him one of his Christmas presents early.
"What is it?" He asks
"Open it" I say, finishing yet another hot chocolate.
"Oh my god, this is the best present I've ever gotten" Inside the box is a sterling silver and 24k gold Christmas ornament with our baby's first ultrasound and the words "Baby Buckingham" engraved into it. I'm shocked at how finely crafted it is. Even I, the one who had it made, is in awe of this beautiful thing.
He holds me tightly, kissing my neck and I feel a dampness on my shoulder. I pull back and he is in tears. He holds my face in his large hands and the look on his face is one I have never seen. I cannot explain it for the life of me. It's like his heart was bursting as he looked deep into my eyes. "You really like it? Is it too much?"
"Not at all. I will treasure this for the rest of my life" He holds me in his arms for a long time. "Thank you, thank you, thank you" His hand travels to the evidence of the baby inside of me and I start to cry too.
"I love you"
"I love you too. I love both of my girls."
December 24th, 1997 (current date)
"What are you thinking about?"
"Our future" I say. He takes my hand in his, playing with the gold and silver rings on my fingers.
"I think about it all the time" I press my lips to his but I can't help thinking his mind is elsewhere.
-----
"Marry me" he says suddenly, sitting with me on the couch. He looks at me, trying to see how I'm feeling about this. I burst into tears and he tries to take it back. "Don't, I get it. I'm sorry" He leaves the room and I know I've done the wrong thing by not speaking when I should have. I find him in our bedroom with a velvet box in his hand. He tries to put it away when he hears me come near but I stop him.
"Please don't hide my ring from me" I beg. "Yes. Yes, I will marry you"
"You will?"
"Lindsey, my love, we may never ever get this chance again, life may throw us one hell of a curve ball. Fate took us away then brought us back together. I want to be a family with you. Yes, I will marry you. Yes, I will spend the rest of my life with you. Yes, I will stand with you in the after life. Yes, yes, yes" I look into his crystalline blue eyes. "Why are you crying, baby?"
"The fact that you finally said yes after all of these years! I mean, how many times have I asked? You said yes! You finally said yes"
I'm smiling so much, I cannot contain my joy. Our baby girl is going wild inside of me and that makes this moment even better. "Oh, I love you. I know it's only been a few weeks but I feel like I've been waiting my whole life."
"Me too, baby" He kisses me, his eyes sparkling and putting me in a trance. I think I've only ever seen him this happy one other in my life and he is a man of big emotions. "You're going to be the most beautiful bride."
"And you're going to be the most handsome groom on the planet." I stroke his face, taking in everything about him. "Please, put it on my finger" My hand is shaking and he tries to hold it still to get the gorgeous platinum ring on my finger. It has a larger diamond in the center with a smaller diamond at either side. He tells me the band that goes with it will be beautiful as well and I leap into his arms, kissing him like crazy. This ring is a little extravagant with all the other diamonds that are glittering like mad around the band aside from the main ones but I know he thought of his love for me when he chose it. This decision leads to passionate lovemaking. We fall asleep easily in each other's arm and I think we are both dreaming of our wedding- the day when we will both be Buckinghams.
