Stuck with a clouded judgement

Chapter 21

We can start all over again

The next morning when I woke up everything felt right. I wasn't feeling that awful feeling that told me that I had to make a decision. It all felt right. I had arms around me that made me feel safe and the person holding me was the most wonderful person in the world. Liam was safe. Even though I have been scared and even though all I wanted was for him to disappear I am truly glad he didn't. I wouldn't be able to do this without him. I knew that our future wasn't going to be easy. He being who he was and me not being as important to the world as he was. There were still things that needed to be fixed but it felt like nothing could hurt me.

I felt his body move next to mine and his arms tightened around my body. When I heard him groan I turned around and he hid his face on my shoulder. I laughed slightly and poked his cheek to make him look at me.

"Liam..." I whispered his name softly and I felt him shiver. "Wake up." He groaned again and then spoke into my shoulder.

"I don't want to. It's so bright!" I laughed at his statement and nudged him with the shoulder he was laying on.

"Come on!" I leaned my head a little closer to his and spoke with the most sensual voice I could manage. "You can't stay in bed all day." Those words made him look up at me and his eyes looked black. He looked at me with passion in his eyes and I smiled sweetly. He took that as some sort of queue and leaned in to press his lips against mine. I wasn't going to complain but I was sure I had morning breath.

The kiss started out very innocent and then slowly it became more heated. He licked my bottom lip, asking for entrance and in the heat of the moment I gave in. His tongue was gently pushed into my mouth, meeting my very waiting tongue. They danced together like the fireflies at night. It was wonderful and I felt myself get more and more excited downstairs. When I felt Liams hand reach under my shirt I understood that he was getting excited too. As soon as his hand reached my breast I quickly pushed him back and broke the kiss. He stared at me with shocked eyes. After a few seconds he blushed and started mumbling apologies. He sat up and placed his head in his hands. I sighed and sat up next too him.

"Liam..." I sighed again and Liam kept his head in his hands. "Liam, listen. You didn't do anything wrong." He let out a weal laugh and shook his head.

"I pushed you too soon. I am so sorry." He sounded so disappointed in himself that I just got mad. I raised my voice when I spoke and I got up from the bed at the same time.

"Could you stop it? I am not a bloody doll!" He looked up at me and I stood at the side of the bed. "Look I get it, I've pushed you away so many times that you think that I am going to do it again. But that's where you're wrong." He put his head in his hands again and I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. He looked up at me in shock and open mouth. "Listen to me!"

"I am listening! Of course I am afraid that I will loose you. I want you and you made it very clear when I came to you house that you didn't want me." I gasped at his words and had to remind myself that he was only saying this because he was hurt.

"Are you serious? I thought you understood!" He was about to speak but I put my hand up and continued. "And just so you know, I don't want to sleep with you right now because the last time I slept with someone, that someone being you, I screwed everything up. And if I was to have sex with you now, there is a constant reminder of how idiotic I really am." He sighed and sat on the side of the bed. I backed up a little so that there was some space between us.

"You were not an idiot. You were drunk, that's two different things." I wasn't going to start a conversation about the fact that I thought every person should take responsibility, no matter how sober or drunk that person may have been. The room was silent after Liams words. He waited for my response and I thought about what I was going to say. I caressed my belly where my little girl was now kicking. She didn't like the fact that we were slightly fighting.