Stuck with a clouded judgement

Chapter 10

Will he say he's in love?

I didn't want them here, really. I wanted them to forget about what happened and then just leave. Now I would have to live with the fact that I had ruined Liams life and that didn't go well with me. I smiled towards Louis who had just apologized and tried to figure out how to get them to agree not to come here later. I know I shouldn't act like this but if they were really coming I wasn't going to be kind towards Liam. I sighed and looked at my feet as the boys stared at me, all of them at my house except Liam. Yes I had said yes to Harrys proposal but that didn't mean that I wanted them here. I just couldn't say no to him, I loved that stupid boy. After we all had stood there for several minutes Zayn finally spoke up, but he didn't say anything that I wanted to hear.

"We need to go see Liam." I snapped my head in his direction and just shook it.

"I don't want to." I looked at me feet and sighed. There was no way that they would let me off the hook.

"You have to Ross." Harry spoke and his words made me sit down on my desk chair.

"But I really don't want to." I wined and put my head in my hands. As soon as I thought about talking to Liam I was afraid that I was going to hurt him, and of course I was going to. If I treated him like shit maybe he would leave me alone.

"He has the right to know what we have decided. And he deserves to hear it from you." When he spoke I was firstly surprised but then I realized that Louis was the one that had Liams back the most. Damn it, I sighed and then stood up.

"Fine I will talk to him, but I will also point out that I don't need him." Harry was about to protest and I held my hand up. "No Harry. I told you all that I don't want this. If you and he choose to be a part of this baby's life then that is your choice." They all nodded and then we agreed on that I would tell my mother that I was going to go talk to Liam. I left the boys in my room and walked out to the kitchen, where my mother was.

"What is it honey?" My mother saw the worried expression on my face and pulled me into a tight hug. I felt like crying but then I thought about all the tears I had shed before. I had often broken down over the fact that I would have to do this myself, but that was all self conflicted. I mentally shook myself and leaned back to look at my mother.

"I am going to go and talk to Liam." She nodded, understanding what I needed to do. I let out a deep breath and looked at the floor. "He and the boys that are here now are coming to Sweden to be with me when the baby comes." She smiled and looked as if she thought it was a good idea.

"That's great honey!" She searched my face for anything positive and when she didn't find it her face fell. "What's wrong, Rosanna?" She whispered softly to me and looked at me with concerned eyes.

"It feels like I am destroying their lives. Liam didn't sign up for this and I was stupid enough to sleep with him. I just feel like it is my mistake and I should take care of it." My mother put her hands on the sides of my face and sighed. Her eyes looked lovingly at me and she kissed my forehead. It all made me feel like a little child again.

"No matter what happens I think this boy really wants this child. And I think he doesn't mind that it is with you, darling. Sure, it might not have been a good time right now but when is it a good time? He came to you, telling you he wanted to help right?" She looked at me with sincere eyes and I nodded. "You told him he didn't have to help you and yet he offered. If you are afraid he is going to disappear then talk to him about that." I looked at my mother, searching for any signs that she might be lying to me. Of course there wasn't any and I sighed.

"It's not that I am afraid that he is going to leave, I know for a fact that he won't." I looked at me barefoot feet and sighed again. "What I am afraid of is that he is going to be mad at me for the rest of his life. I am afraid that he will hate is bastard child and that he will neglect her/him." I covered my face with my hands and I felt my mother hug me even more tightly.