I Play for Keeps

Chapter Twenty Nine

After lunch, Gabe and I walked around the town a little. We went to a local ice cream shop and went to a book store so I could be somewhat entertained while driving from city to city. We finally reached the stage where I’d be performing with five minutes to spare. I gaped, unable to process what I saw in front of me.

            There, waiting to see my show were over a thousand people. Well maybe not over a thousand, but it sure did feel like it. They were all talking and waiting in line for tickets. The parking lot was full. I clenched my hands into fists and gulped. Gabe turned around to tell me something and noticed my stress. “What’s wrong?”

            “There are a lot of people here who are expecting a good show…” I began nervously. Gabe nodded slowly, not too sure where I was going with this. “What if I mess up? What if I get the words wrong? What if I crack?” My questions were pouring out of me so quickly, I wasn’t even too sure if Gabe understood a single word I said.

            Apparently he did. He placed both hands on my shoulders and pressed them down, forcing them into a somewhat relaxed position. “Relax. If it happens, it happens. You just smile and go with it. C’mon though. We’ve gotta hurry or we’ll be late to makeup.” He turned back around, grabbed my hand and dragged me through the throngs of people toward a back entrance. There were two security guards waiting there; both stepped in front of the door before Gabe took off my hat and sunglasses and gave them some sort of badge. The men nodded, stepped aside, and held open the door for us.

            “Is that her? I hope it is!” A female voice squealed. Gabe lead me around a corner into a huge room filled with mirrors, costumes, hair things, and a heck of a lot of makeup. There was an entire team waiting for me, each of them positioned by different stations. A very tall, glamorous looking lady approached me and kissed me on both cheeks. “Hello darling, my name is Sasha. I’ll be the head of your beauty department for all of your tours. It’s very nice to finally meet you!” She seemed so excited, it was radiating off of her in waves. I on the other hand, was anything but. I couldn’t shake this nauseous feeling. Sasha picked up on it and glanced at Gabe. They seemed to have some silent conversation before she turned back at me and stared into my eyes intently. “Whatever nerves you’re having, shake them off. We don’t have time for nerves. Now, sit down right here, and we’ll get started.”

            An hour or so later, I was ready to go. Sasha and her team put me in my white Angel with a Shotgun dress first. My hair had been curled and hair sprayed stiff. My makeup was subtle but stunning. I had minimal blush and congealer on. My eyes were where the real action was. Sasha’s team colored my eyelids a smoky white and gave me a very drastic looking black eyeliner accompanied by false lashes and a few little diamonds glued onto my face near my eyes. Finally, the last step, a few feathers were glued onto my back, shoulders, and arms. When I looked in the mirror, I hardly recognized myself. I looked like a goddess.

            Gabe was also as stunned as I was when he first saw me. After a few moments of silence, he beamed and led me away onto the stage. He placed a microphone around my ear and set it up so the actual part that would be picking up my voice would be by my mouth. I quickly sang a line of Angel with a Shotgun before they opened up the house. Gabe then dragged me backstage and down a flight of stairs.

            “Alright, I don’t know if you’re familiar with this stuff or not, but you’re going to start the concert underground singing.” I shot him a confused look and opened up my mouth to protest, but he put a hand over my mouth and continued. “It’s like what Michael Jackson did on his Thriller tour. Everyone does it now. Just not like this.” His eyes gleamed with what I assumed was mischief. He opened up a small door and we both stepped into a very small, crammed room. I was basically pressed against him, my chest touching his. I couldn’t really look into his eyes without craning my neck into an uncomfortable position, so I opted to keep my face pressed into his chest, breathing him in. God he smelled good. Oh my God Rae did you just say that?! That’s so creepy. “You’ll start off singing the first phrase under here. Then, a machine will start to lift you up. But it won’t be slow. It’ll start off slow, then it’ll basically throw you up. Your job is to tuck your knees and land back down in one piece. The floor will be there by the time you land from your jump. But it’ll look cool. Trust me, they’ll love it.”

            “Alright, I’ll give it a try. But can we get out of here?” And by get out of here, I mean can we stay here forever? Because you smell sooo good and you’re so comfy and perfect and I don’t ever want to move again.

            “Yeah sure.” He scooted out of the room first and offered me his hand. “Now show me your tuck jump.” I obliged, jumping as high as I could manage while tucking my knees close to my chest. At the last second, I extend my legs and landed solidly on both feet, hardly wavering. Gabe gave me a high five. “Alright, you can do this. I’ve gotta go out to my seats now. I know you’re going to rock this.”

            Gabe quickly pulled me into a tight hug before letting me go and running off in the opposite direction. I had no idea how to get back up to the main floor, but I figured it was best that I didn’t leave this spot. After all, I’d just have to come back here in a few minutes anyway. A stagehand approached me, holding a clipboard and a headset.

            “We’ve found her. She’s by the trap door.” The man shook my hand eagerly. “Nice to meet you, Rae. I’m a huge fan. My name’s John and I’m going to be the stage manager for this show. Just making sure, you don’t have any problems with flashing lights or strobe lights, right?” I nodded and he mumbled something into the headset. “Good, the booth just wants to make sure before we start. You’re going on in two minutes. Is there anything I can get you before we begin?” I thought for a moment, but shook my head. He patted my shoulder. “Break a leg, we’ll see you on the other side. It was a pleasure working for you.”

            I figured it would be smart for me to spend my last two minutes in the small room, breathing heavily, focusing on doing a good job tonight. It was my debut. I couldn’t mess this up. I had to be confident, fun, sassy, and sing amazingly well. And whatever I did, I couldn’t let the million eyes staring at me freak me out and get the better of me. If I was going to do this, I was going to have to go all out. No marking, no pretending. This wasn’t for me. This was for my mom and Michael. And that thought alone gave me the courage and strength I needed.

            Someone closed the trap door behind me. My breathing quickened. I could hear all the voices outside. Then the music started. I could hear the backup singers above me.

I’m an angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun…

            I could feel the floor below me moving toward the stage. I closed my eyes and took my final breath.

I’m an angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun…

            It was time.