Love's A Hard Game To Play

Healing

Stevie laid in bed on her side, her hand resting on her six month belly.
She was waiting patiently to finally be released from the in patient facility she had gone to get the help she needed.
Once she left she would still have to attend out patient therapy.

Over the passed few months, Stevie had checked into a facility that helped women get the help they needed with whatever trauma they had gone through.
Stevie had requested a female doctor; she was very uncomfortable with any male doctor.

Also, during her stay, she had gone to a doctor's appointment that Lindsey was able to go with her. Stevie's doctor confirmed that she was indeed carrying a boy.

Lindsey was over the moon; he was like a kid on Christmas morning.
Stevie couldn't help but smile at him while he drove her back to the facility.
He talked non stop about their baby boy and how excited he was to get to teach him all the things his father had taught him plus everything there is to know about music.

In the beginning of her stay, Stevie was very tight lipped with her doctor. She didn't want to talk about what had happened.

After some time, Stevie finally poured her heart out to Dr. Baker.
"Joe had told me so many times how worthless and useless I was that...I started to believe it all over again. When we got divorced, Lindsey was there and he worked so hard with me to get those thoughts out of my head. I was finally feeling like I was worth something. I felt human again. But when he...took me....and I woke up tied to that bed, I knew the nightmare was going to start all over again. He wasted no time, he climbed on top of me..." Stevie had to stop speaking. She took a breath then continued. "He raped me. I tried to get him to stop but of course he didn't. As time went on...I just, got back into the same routine like it used to be when we were married. I would be home alone all day, he would come home drunk and he would be high out of his mind then he would do whatever he wanted with me."
Stevie's doctor listened intently, writing quick notes in her note pad.
Stevie then said. "I don't know how long I was there with Joe. It felt as if I would be there forever. But I still had held on to some hope that someone would find me. But then Joe brought his supplier over. I remember that man getting close to me...his body odor was...so strong. Just thinking about it now makes me feel nauseous!" Stevie shuddered; tears rolling down her cheeks. "After it was over...after they both used me...I just wanted to die. I didn't want to live anymore. That's when I stopped eating and drinking the food and water Joe would bring me. I didn't want to feel so I just...I just shut down."

Stevie had been extremely graphic in her therapy sessions.
Her doctor saying how good that was because she was letting everything out instead of keeping it bottled in.

Stevie talked about her not wanting the baby at first but now love filled her heart for her baby boy.
The reason she had been so distant of her baby was the thought of the baby being Joe's and the fears of the baby looking exactly like him. She didn't want any reminders of Joe. She couldn't help those irrational thoughts that plagued her mind.
During these sessions she realized now that it didn't matter. Her baby would come first, she would take care and love this baby just like she had planned to do with Angel.
She would always love her baby boy no matter what.

Stevie was slowly becoming herself again and was finally gaining the weight she had lost. Her belly of course grew and she now looked healthy.

Although Stevie was still having trouble with her self esteem; Dr. Baker and Lindsey would try to help realize that she was worth so much; but she still felt so worthless.

A knock on the door pulled Stevie out of her thoughts.
"Come in." She said sitting up.
"Hey honey." Lindsey said as he opened the door and he had a huge smile on his face.