BENJI. (a guide to being normal)

Not Again

The next morning, Benji was released from the hospital to where he returned to a quiet flat. The trash and clothes had been picked up, the stairs and carpets cleaned, the kitchen sparkling, and the windows washed. It was cleaner than when he had left it. Placing his bags by the door, he caught sight of a white note on the coffee table. He was certain it would explain the miracle.

Hello BJ! Fiona and I cleaned up the place while you were in the hospital. Hope you feel better, mate. I’ll be around to next week if you’d like a drink. Take care, all right?

All the best, Copper

Folding the note in half and pinching it across the crease, he sadly realised he was alone. Folding the He tossed the note on the table, where it slid off the edge and onto the floor.  Feeling a bit guilty that he had disrespectfully threw his best friend’s note on the table, just to watch it land on the ground, made him pick it up and place it gently in the centre off the table. Putting his hands in his pockets, he walked up the stairs to his room, his thoughts trying to adjust to the change.

He didn’t like the emptiness. He hated it. He needed company, but was too afraid to call Cooper in fear that he would be told to work it out by himself, and he was definitely afraid to ring Kris. The only person that came to mind that was local, broken, and who he knew well, was Shannon. Passing a hand over his head, he reached into his pocket for his mobile and dialed her number. He had deleted it long ago, but it had a memorable rhyme he hadn’t forgotten.

“Hello?”

Benji remained silent, debating on whether or not he should invite her over. But the thought of hanging up and talking to the silence frightened him more. “Would you come over?”

“Benji?”

“Yeah, just for tea and talking. I understand if you don’t want to. But—,”

“What’s your address?”

In a quiet voice, he replied, “Right across the street from our first date. You’ll remember it. Flat number is 358. See you then.” Benji hung up first and shrugged his shoulders, trying to build confidence in his decision. Clearing his throat until he coughed, he turned on his laptop on his desk and checked his Facebook. The first thing he saw made his heart explode. There, the first thing on his newsfeed, was a photo of Kris and that man together with the solid blue heart above them and the words “in a relationship” trailing in front of the symbol.

So gently, he passed a hand over the screen. He had a strange feeling that was giving him a second chance to ask her out, but when she saw him with Shannon in the hospital, she lost hope. Banging a fist on the table, Benji jumped up and grabbed his book manuscript. Shouting profanities, he tore the book in half and threw it in the trash bin. He kicked the bin over, sending the torn pages flying across the floor. Sitting down, he pressed his hands against his eyes, “I ruined it. I ruined it all.” He felt absolutely hopeless, like the world was against him. His best friend had moved out, enjoying probably a wonderful breakfast with his girlfriend. The woman he thought he could have a sliver of a chance with, decided he wasn’t good enough. And then there was Shannon, the only scrambled answer he was bold enough to let into his life. He thought he hated her, but seeing that she was one of the few people who would see him, he allowed himself to get involved.

A few minutes passed and the doorbell rang. He knew who it was. Taking in a deep breath, he gathered his scattered papers and threw them away. He closed his laptop and went down the stairs. He saw the feminine shadow standing outside, his heart thundered in his ears, his hands trembled. Moistening his dried lips, he opened the door and the woman of his memories stood before him.

“I’m sorry about what I said,” Shannon began, “there are a lot of things I’m sorry about.”

Benji stood there, staring at her. He didn’t know what to say or do, and everything he had envisioned them doing upon her arrival did not seem appropriate at the moment. “Shannon, the thing is, is that I don’t know what I’m doing with me life. I’ve made a cock-up of everthin’. The girl I liked is now involved. My best friend is gone, and you’ve come. I don’t know if seeing you again is a good thing, or a bad thing.”

Shannon smiled and whipped a piece of hair from her face with an impatient whack. Benji couldn’t help but jump at the violent gesture. “What do you want from me, Benji?”

“I don’t know. The strange thing is, I think I wanted you to be just as hurt as I am about what happened between us. But now, I wouldn’t know how to go about it. Funny, innit.”

Stepping up into the house, Shannon placed a hand behind his neck, “You’ve been alone too long, Benji,” she cooed.

Benji kicked the door shut, just to be blasted away by a shrill scream from Shannon. Slamming against the wall behind him, he looked in bafflement at Shannon, who was clutching her hand and jumping up and down. “What happened?”

“You closed my hand in the door, you twat,” she whined, looking down at her now bruised hand.

Seeing it as a good excuse to get rid of her, as he was finding the situation going not as planned, he opened the door and looked at Shannon meekly.

Shannon dropped her arms by her side and looked at him in disbelief. “You little—now you’re kicking me out?”

“It was a mistake, I’m feeling better now, so your company isn’t really needed.”

“Well, this is a change of conscious! I should’ve known you were in it for yourself!” Shannon stomped out the front door.

“You’re right! It should be all about me now! I’m tired of trying to make people like you happy!” Benji slammed the door. He had an epiphany. One he wasn’t sure was based on his feelings, or one that was made up in his head, or one that was really a sign that things were going to be all right. Snatching his jacket, he raced out the front door and ran down the sidewalk for two blocks before jumping over a small picket fence and into someone’s front yard. Skipping up the front steps, he rang the doorbell.

The blue door opened and Copper stood there. “Benji? What are you doing ‘ere?”

“I need the car.”

“You can’t drive,” Copper reminded.

Shaking his hands frantically, Benji said, “Whatever, can you drive me to the London publishing house.”

“Why?”

“I need to talk to Kris. I need to tell her how I feel. I don’t care that it’s too soon or I barely know anythin’ about her, but I need to. If I don’t do it now, I will never do it again.”

Copper held up and finger and vanished into the hallway. He appeared a few seconds later with the car keys. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Good! Now, we need to stop by the shop and I need to get something for her. Hopefully her boyfriend won’t be there.”

Copper stopped in his tracks and faced Benji. “Wa-wa-wait, she’s got a boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” Benji said as if it wasn’t a big deal. “It’s a slight wrinkle, but it’ll resolve.”

“Listen, you just got out of the hospital, you saw Shannon, and now you’re trying to steal a taken woman?”

“How did you know about Shannon?”

“Kris called me. She told me that you told her to call me. But listen very carefully, Benji, you can’t do this.”

 Setting his jaw, Benji gave Copper a cautionary glare and walked determined out of the front yard. He stepped into the street and then turned around to Copper. “She’s the only thing I got now!”

“Benji, watch out!”

The flood of yellow headlights blinded Benji and the sound of tires screaming against the pavement covered the desperate words from his friend. Everything went black.