Perception (Clexa)

20

There are people running all over the place, calling out orders... in a medical way as Clarke would say. But the room was spinning to Lexa, everything and anything that was going through her mind was a complete mess. All she could think of was, she lost her son, now a possibility of losing her sister too... all because of her mistakes. There is blood all over the room gauges thrown all over to stop the bleeding from Anya's wound. The doctors thought it was best for Lexa to stay out the surgery room but she refused, they let her stay not because she was the president. No. It was because they couldn't help but see a human with nothing but pain in her eyes. They did not see their leader of all 50 states. They only saw a person that had feelings too.

It was 8 hours until Clarke saw Lexa exit the O.R. in scrubs and a surgical mask just below her chin. Clarke didn't notice the amount of blood Lexa had on her until she came into a better view. Clarke watched as Lexa removed the gloves, mask and bloody scrubs, disposing of it. Lexa wasn't smiling, nor was she frowning. She was, yet again, emotionless. Lexa had gain controlled of herself after she watched the lines on Anya's monitor go flat. She felt nothing as she did when Aden died. Once Lexa saw the surgeons panicking to save her dear sisters life, she had left the room. She lost hope. Is this what she deserved? Was the death her people caused by her mistakes?

Clarke stood there shaking the girl endlessly. Lexa was gone, she was standing there but she was just gone. Clarke guided the girl to a near by seat and sat beside her. "Lexa" Clarke spoke with great concern but Lexa was still out of it. Clarke tried and tried to get Lexa's attention by screaming her name over and over again but that didn't seem to be working. So Clarke was hesitant at first but she went on to slap Lexa across the face immediately taking Lexa out of her trans.

"What the fuck!" Lexa looked up in anger rubbing her cheek. "I'm sorry Lexa but you weren't listening to me" Clarke went to move Lexa's hand to rub the girls cheek herself but Lexa flinched causing Clarke's eyes to soften. Clarke hadn't realized how void Lexa's eyes were, she usually could decipher Lexa's emotions through her eyes. But at this moment Clarke saw absolutely nothing and it scared her.

A doctor walked up to the two woman. Lexa was the first to look up at the doctor, a shine of hope shown through her eyes only for a second. "She suffered from two gun shot wounds, one in the shoulder and the other in the chest. The shoulder was the easiest to get out but the bullet in the chest was near her heart. We were able to get the bullet out but.."

"But what!?" Lexa sat up anxiously.

"But a piece of metal remains near her heart which could cause her trouble, we will have to do another surgery which requires her needing more blood." Clarke looked at Lexa as if to say that won't be a problem but Lexa shook her head "Me and Anya aren't the same blood type" Lexa sighed.

"But I am" a voice from behind the doctor said. "Mom?" Lexa stood from chair running over to hug her she needed this hug so much, she needed to feel something again, Indra gave her tight squeeze before letting go. Indra glanced at Clarke wondering who the hell she was but Lexa's mom knows that it's not the place or the time for that right now.

"Alrighty then ma'am if you could just follow me" Lexa let go of her mother as the feeling of warmth and safety went away. She watched her walk off with the doctor.

"Why aren't you and Anya the same blood type" Clarke asked curious. "I'm adopted but if we were related Clarke it doesn't mean we would necessarily have the same blood type still" Lexa said a little too bitter. Clarke didn't say another word after that, she knew it was best to let it go. Lexa wasn't the only one going through things, Clarke was too. She still couldn't get the nightmares to stop of that horrible place that the three evil bitches captivated her in. Clarke had guilt of what happened to Lexa's sister because she knew this would happen but she continued to say nothing for her own selfish reasons. She wanted Lexa all to herself but at the same time all she wanted was peace but it seemed as if this world was out to get her for all the sins she has committed. But she had to be strong. For Lexa.

.....

4 more hours had passed before a nurse came by to shake Clarke awake. "I'm sorry to interrupt your slumber sweetie but have you seen Lexa Woods?" her southern accent was very... annoying to hear when you first wake up Clarke thought. Clarke looked around to see that the brunette was no longer beside her. Clarke shrugged her shoulders towards the nurse to show that she had no clue "Well if you find her, please tell her that her sister is stable and should be waking up soon" I nod and stand up from my seat stretching. Where could Lexa be?

Lexa was outside clearing her head but also smoking a cigarette, she hasn't smoked since Adens death but somehow she craved the smell of a burning cigarette so she asked a nearby person for a smoke and they obliged not realizing it was the president. Lexa managed to sneak pasted her security with just some shades and a hat she found. Lexa sat down on a bench right outside the hospital taking a puff from her cigarette and stared up at the sky.

~~~~

"Anyaaaa!" Lexa ran through the kitchen out to the back yard finding her big sister laid out on the grass. "What is it little heda" Anya smiled as Lexa laid down in the grass right next Anya.

"What are you doing" Lexa asked.

"Well I'm just looking at how beautiful the sky is" Anya pointed to the big brightest star in the sky tonight. "See that little Heda?"

"Yes?" Lexa squinted her eyes.

"Whenever you feel alone. Just look up at the sky and know that I'm that star looking down upon you to tell you everythings going to be alright" Lexa smiled at her sister and they laid there for hours staring at the sky.

.....

Lexa saw the bright star in the sky and smiled letting a single tear slide down her cheek whispering to herself "Everythings going to be alright little Heda" Lexa was staring at the sky for so long that she didn't notice Clarke seating beside her watching Lexa's whole moment. Lexa put out her cigarette and stood but Clarke grabbed her wrist making Lexa finally notice her. Clarke stood slowly removing the shades from Lexa's face. Lexa did everything to keep her from looking Clarke in the eyes. Clarke cupped her cheeks rubbing her thumbs over Lexa's cheek. Lexa looked at her with the saddest eyes.

"Your sisters okay Lexa" Clarke said. "She's Okay" Lexa let herself fall into Clarke's arms and sob. Clarke held onto her and the warmth and safety that Lexa felt with her mother was back but something else was added. It was something so familiar but Lexa didn't know what it felt like anymore until this exact moment. It was Love.