All Rubber Duckies Go To Heaven

Chapter Four

****EDITED BY LOVEHYMN****

At lunch I didn’t talk to anyone, I just watched the clock and as I felt every pulse of the seconds taunting me.

Tick: Do it.

Tock: Go on.

Finally fed up, I pulled Jayden away from his friends and the table into a secluded area. “I need to talk to you.”

He scoffed but followed me. I took a deep breath. “Jayden I think we need to stop seeing each other. For good,” I clarified.

He snorted. “Yeah, right! We’ve got something good Jan. You just can’t see the possibilities.”

I rubbed my arm and shifted my weight. “That’s because there aren’t any! I’m sorry Jayden but I can’t put up with your abuse and pressure anymore.It’s not good for me.I can’t live with this anymore. I need to stop.” I said and I got scared by my own words, in any moment, I thought I'd just tell him to forget about it all. But I needed to stand for myself, and fight for my own freedom. I took another deep breath and folded my arms across my chest.

He stared at me like I was being ridiculous. “Jan, you’re going to regret this.” I wasn’t all too sure just how much truth was hidden behind that threat.

I was shaking. “Goodbye Jayden.” That probably sounded stupid but I was focusing more on staying upright than saying the right thing. I turned to walk away but he grabbed the nook of my elbow, twisting me hard to face him.

He leaned in to get close to my face and whispered in my ear, “You’re not going to dump me for that emo, bitch.”

I stocked my voice with all the venom I’d been suppressing before I responded, my reaction not so much aggressive as defensive. “One, I’m not going to regret anything other than dating you in the first place. Two, I’m not dumping you for Aerin; I’m dumping you because I’m sick of wallowing in your shit. Three, if I’m a bitch I hate to hear how they describe you.” I jerked my arm away from his grip and almost stormed out of the cafeteria.

I caught myself, realizing I didn’t feel like being alone out of the public eye. I looked around, found out where he was sitting, and relocated myself to a table in one of the corners of the cafeteria. “Hey Aerin. Did you have fun gawking?” I teased as I tucked my knees in toward my torso and leaned my back against the wall.

“What? No! I wasn’t—I mean—I wasn’t gawking.” He took a bite out of a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

“Of course you weren’t,” I pestered, my heart rate still noticeably off the charts. I was thinking, no, praying to God to keep me alive.

“It’s the truth! Kind of… So you did it?”

“Yeah.” I took deep breath and stole one of his carrots.

“You know, if you want to hang out some time I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know where I live. I mean, exes can be very stalker-ish for the while after.” I was well aware that wasn’t what he actually meant.

He hadn’t believed me when I shot down his accusation against Jayden. He was offering me protection. I didn’t want to take the chance of Jayden following me to Aerin’s house. It wouldn’t be good for the boy. “I’ll be fine,” I reassured him. “I’m not scared of him,” I lied.

He looked at me with some twisted form of sympathy on his face.

“I’m serious,” I told him, lying again.

If I get stuck in hell when the world comes crashing down it’ll be because I’m an avid liar.