Chapter 48 - Pregnancy and Thoughts.

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by LilMzKrazy

by LilMzKrazy

Dianna's POV *

- Over three months later -

I sat in bed thinking, life hasn't been much better since i got pregnant. I have seen Zach about ten times since i left the hospital, i've never felt anything towards anyone until i met him. My parents watch me like twenty-four seven. I started doing school online because the pain i still felt from the hospital was beginning to cut into the time i needed focusing on school. So during the day i watch Nate for my mom while she's at work. She started this job at some consulting company where she files papers, gets coffee... like a secretary.

My dad comes home during his three breaks to check on us and brings me lunch occasionally. I miss my old life, alot. Freedom. If i'm not in this house im walking down to the park to get air with Nate. Sometimes Dian will come home with the car to hang out with me during some of lunch with a few friends but only on some days. I haven't seen much change in my stomach but a slight mini hill forming in my gut. I ate way more now, and barely liked getting out of bed because of slight back pain.

I never thought being pregnant would take such a toll on me. I never thought I'd get pregnant and drop out of public schooling, to do online school and feel like... a burdon on my parents. It's not a good feeling, i feel like i just failed them, they tried to raise me right but i ended up letting my crazy teen girl hormones get the best of me and make me get into this situation.

I sat at my desk typing away into my laptop doing an essay for Journalism. One of the electives they forced me to take. The classes weren't bad, it just was boring and there were so many new distractions at home. Nate, access to food whenever i want, my oh so comfortable bed that i wanted to just run and jump into right now. But i couldn't because i had to finish this before the end of the week in order to get my credit. Luckily... after I have the baby in September and atleast a month after that i'll be able to go back to school to graduate with my class. It won't be easy but very possible.

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I woke up to see it was dark outside, my head pressed against the keyboard i looked up to see random numbers and letters typed where i last left at. i had a blanket thrown across my back which was hurting like crazy. I deleted the random typing, saved my work and turned off my laptop. I went to take a shower and get ready for bed. I was not ready for the mother life. Thoughts like this hooked into my mind and stayed there until the next mrning no matter what i did to distract myself.

Then the thought of how my family might be thinking about me. I know my dad hates me, and i know my mom is disappointed but... I don't know what Dian is thinking? I can't imagine how Uncle Jake, Auntie Stephanie, and Chris are thinking.

Something then just came to my realization, I'm having babies at a young age like my mom, her mom, Stephanie? Almost like it's just a trend. That's probably why she's so unhappy. My mom never intended on my being a teen mom. I'm just such a disappointment.