10

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by amyphanfic

by amyphanfic

You grab the razor blade that you had used before...still has blood on it.
You roll up your sleeve, take off the bandages and cut... you don't care you just cut.

"I'm sorry I'm useless... ill just stand here and be depressed" you say with tears hanging off your eyelids.

"Nobody understands that depression is a mental illness and that it can attack at any time" you cry.

You look down at your arm. Red. Dark red.

You look into the mirror...you don't recognise this monster.

"Who am I?!" You shout as you wash your arm.
"This isn't me...I was the happy little girl, the loud but funny one, the sociable one... look at me" you start to cry more, the words can barley come out of your mouth.

You quickly run out of the bathroom and lock yourself in your bedroom.

"I'm selfish ... they were trying to help!" You tell yourself as you lock the door.

Suddenly there is a knock at the door.
"Hey y/n! It's Dan...Phil is okay, we're not mad at you...are you okay?" He shouts through the door

"I-I'm fine ... I just need to go to sleep...night Dan" you say jumping into your bed.
"Night..."

3:00am ... still can't sleep
"Fuck it!" You say as you start to write.

"Dear Dan and Phil

You don't deserve the stress I give you so...
I'm going back to my parents...you don't need to come back...actually stay far away, I will only cause more pain.
Goodbye, thanks for being great people

Y/n xxx"

You start to quietly throw everything into your suitcase...you didn't have much so it wasn't that hard. After packing you picked it up and crept into the living room.
You grab your coat from the hanger and put it on.

You quietly open the door and creep out. You slowly shut the door and start to waddle down the road. It was cold...too cold.

You start to look around as you pull your suitcase down the street.

The only people around were weirdos or people stumbling back from drunken nights out.
You just stay hidden, walking behind the street lights. Trying to stay out of trouble.

"Y/N?!" You hear a voice shout from behind you. You look back...Amber.

"What are you doing?!" She asks, you start to cry.

You spill out what happened, she just stands there and hugs you.
"This is only gonna cause more stress...go back" she whispers

"W-what but I-" you stutter
"Go back, if you love them...you would go back there" she whispers as she pushes you into Dan and Phil's house direction.

"What about you? Why are you out?" You ask before you walk away
"Midnight walks calm me...something has happened..." she says before she walks away.

You run to Dan and Phil's house and pull out your keys. You open the door as quietly as you can and run into the bedroom.

They are heavy sleepers, they won't notice

"Your not real" you whisper as you throw your suitcase on the floor and jump onto your bed.

"Bye!" Phil says waving, Dan waves but then goes back to eating.
You feel bad and mouth 'I'm sorry' to Phil.
He smiles warmly and mouths back 'It's okay'

As you walk down the road with bags under your eyes, you tug on your black 'THIS ISN'T MY HAPPY PLACE' t-shirt.

You basically run to school waiting to see Amber...but she isn't there.
You sit a few minutes but she still isn't there.

You walk up to Miss.chalam
"H-have you seen Amber?" You stutter to her which makes her raise an eyebrow.

An: please don't be silent, COMMENT!
I'm joking but in all seriousness,
Next chapter will be a vote.
Also sorry for short chapter