Beacon of Hope

Chapter Five <3 Paintings

When my eyes snap open, I gulp down air. It feels like I've been choked. I sit up and look around, seeing Haymitch looking relieved in the chair next to me.

" Hey, sweetheart," he says, and I wince from the volume that he said it at. He lowers his voice. " Sorry,"

I nod. Then I start to panic, suddenly remembering why I passed out in the first place. My breath starts going really loud, and I'm shaking.

Haymitch puts his arm around me - he's surprisingly nice sober - and says, " Shhh, shhh. It's ok, you're ok."

" Haymitch, I'm pregnant," I croak. Then I turn my shaking face up so I'm looking him in the eye.

He strokes my hair. " I know, sweetheart. Peeta told me. He thought you'd be angry at him, so we decided it would be best if I was here, instead of him." He says, taking my wobbling hand in his. I sit up, looking around.

We're in my compartment. And, as I look out the window. It seems we're about an hour out of district 11, so we'll be arriving soon. I turn to Haymitch, and start sobbing. " I'm scared," I wail.

He pats my back, and says, " I know sweetheart. I know. Look, you've been offered an operation. You can get the baby surgically removed, but it's your choice."

I can't do that. I can't take life away from a child, even though I've done it before. And, above anything else, I can't hurt Peeta that much. He would be heartbroken. He's always wanted kids. I have to remember, this isn't only my baby, it's Peeta's too.

And maybe having a baby won't be so bad.

I shake my head at Haymitch. He smiles understandingly and squeezes my hand. " I need to see Peeta," I say.

" Yes, you do," he says. " As soon as you're ready. Your prep team, and Cinna, have fifty minutes till we arrive in 11,"

Haymitch stands up and kisses my cheek then leaves the room, telling me that my prep team will be along to collect me shortly.

District 11. Why is this out first stop? Why can't we stop somewhere else first? This is Rues home; the girl who gave her life so we could defeat the careers. The girl who got speared in the belly. The girl I sang to as she died. The girl that I couldn't save.

And Thresh. I didn't know Thresh. But he gave me life. He gave Peeta life. When Clove was going to kill me, he killed her. Then he showed me mercy, for Rue.

Peeta and I wouldn't be here now if weren't for Rue and Thresh.

My prep team come to my door, only to see me biting my nails. I bite them when I'm nervous, behind my prep teams back. They thought they'd managed to get me to finally stop. Well, they hadn't. They all take in deep breaths and glance at each other.

" Oh, you poor thing, Katniss," Flavius exclaims.

If they're in a mess, I certainly am. They're knocking back brightly coloured pills and high caffeine coffee. They bring me five of the little pills and a large cup of coffee. I except the coffee.

I sigh as they tell me they're going to wax my legs and arms. I like my body hairs. They make me feel normal, since everyone back in district twelve has the soft, curly hairs. I run my hands along them, suddenly remembering Peeta's body hairs. A light, golden down. I smile lightly at the thought then frown. How come he gets to keep the familiar fluff that lines his body.

I hand myself over to my prep team.

They barely talk. Guess they're just tired. In one way it's a relief, since I won't have to listen to them chatting on about the highest Capitol fashion trends. But it's also bad, because instead I'm forced to listen to each and every single hair being ripped from my flesh while my face is plastered with different creams. Then they make me bathe in a bath of fowl smelling solution, whilst still wearing the facial cream. Then I take two more baths, in slightly better concoctions.

Then I'm allowed to put my regular brown trousers and green shirt on for lunch. When I get there, everyone's already started. I'm too weighed down to make tedious conversations. But Peeta's not here, and whilst I eat my bowl of soup, I keep looking around the room for him. He must think I'm pissed with him for getting me pregnant. But I'm not. I just don't want to have a baby.

Throughout our meal, the train stops due to some sort of malfunction. We're told it will require at least an hour. Effie goes into hysterics, telling us how this will effect each of the events throughout our entire house. At some point throughout her gabbing, I just can't take it anymore.

" We don't care, Effie!" I scoff, and everybody turns to stare at me. " Well, admit it! None of you do!" I yell, getting up and leaving the room.

I dash to my room, hearing someone tell my name. I'm sure it's Peeta, but I don't turn around, I keep going. I jump onto my bed and face the other side of my door. At some point the door clicks open and footsteps sound towards me. Haymitch. " Go away, Haymitch. I don't want a lecture," I say.

" I'm not here to give you a lecture, sweetheart," Peeta's sarcastic voice says. I can tell he's putting on his best Haymitch voice.

" Sorry," I smirk. " I thought you were Haymitch." I turn to face him. He walks over and perches at the side of the bed beside me.

" I'm so sorry, Katniss," he sobs, his eyes wet with emotion. " For getting you pregnant."

" Peeta, it's ok." I say.

" No it's not! You never wanted kids!" He says, getting himself upset. I tilt his chin up and kiss him.

" Peeta, it's ok." I say again. " I've been offered an abortion." A couple tears escape his eyes. I knew he'd be upset. I quickly finished. " No, Peeta. It's ok. I'm going to keep the baby. I'm not taking it."

He lightens up. " So, I'm gonna be a dad?" He asks. I nod. He hugs me tightly and says, " thank you, Katniss," about a hundred times. I smile too. I smile because I'm making Peeta happy. And, strangly, I smile because I'm going to be a mother.

He pulls away, and looks at quizzically. " Isn't it weird that I love you, and I'm having a baby with you, but I don't know some of the most basic things about you? For instance, what's your favourite colour?"

" Well, now you've crossed the line," I giggle, sarcastically. " Green. What's yours?"

" Orange," he says.

" What, like Effie's hair orange?" I ask.

" No," he says. " Like sunset orange."

Sunset. I can see it now. The colour of sky in the woods in late afternoon. In the arena. The fading sky.

" Do you know what?" I say, thinking. " I've never seen any of your paintings, and everybody's always talking about them.

" I have a full train car of them," he says, helping me up. " Come with me."

I apologise to Effie on the way there. She excepts, graciously. Then we head on our way to Peeta's painting car.

And Peeta's paintings are as good as everybody says. Peeta has painted the games.

He leads me down to the back of the room and I see many beautiful paintings on the way there. Our cave, the Cornicopia. The horrific mutts. He turns me around when we reach the back of the room.

" What do you think?"He asks.

" I hate them," I say. " I mean, look. You've painted the Games. But yes, they are amazing."

" Well, then," he says. " Follow me." I nod and turn to face him. He's unlocking a door in the wall. Then he takes my hand and leads me inside.

I am everywhere. Peeta makes me look more beautiful than I am. So much more. Me beating his shirt off of rocks, feeding him soup, on the chariot, my braid swinging around my neck.

" Peeta. . ." I whisper.

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Hey Guyss!

I saw Catching Fire! It's amazing! It's so emotional and action packed, but funny as well! Gosh, you guys have to go see it! RIGHT NOW!! Aha!

Thank you guys for 47 reads and 5 votes on IKLP! Yayy!!

HG_Everdeen_Katniss/ Jamie :) <3