The Book Boyfriend

Nineteen.

Morning came too soon. If it had been possible to stay in my dreams for ever I would have taken it. Beau still had hold of me, and I was scared to move, scared to ruin the comfort this bed had provided both of us last night.

But I had to pee.

The second I moved, he groaned and held on even tighter.

“Beau, let me go. I need to get up.” I whispered, hoping I could talk him into it without actually waking up. I really wanted some time to myself to try and process everything.

“No.” He sighed, rolling over onto his back he took me with him. At least this way it was easier to move and I shuffled down his side, grabbing the pillow to tuck into the space I had just filled and as he rolled again, I was free.

It was nearly eight in the morning and grabbing my bag I was surprised to find another bathroom shared between two bedrooms on the other side of the living area. Now able to take in the suite, it was royal with the gold trimmings everywhere and I could only imagine the kind of people who stayed here.

I felt better already after having a shower and dressing in fresh clothes, but it didn’t help me deal with last night. I peeked in Beau’s room where he was once again on his back, totally spread out and still sound asleep. I ordered room service and decided to call John, not sure what to say to him that wasn’t going to make him hate Beau more.

“Hey jetsetter. Getting used to the rich and famous lifestyle?” He was teasing because of how I had demanded he book my flight, but it still bugged me.

“Funny. Do I get any kind of leave yet? I might need tomorrow off.”

“Well of course, but why do I get the feeling I’m being left in the dark about something?”

“Because you are.”

I skimmed on the gritty details, especially the drugs and just how drunk he had been. I had always told him everything and as I carefully chose my words, I realized just how much.

“Bec, I don’t think you seeing him is a good idea.”

“That part isn’t changing, not yet at least John. He deserves a chance, he needs me.”

“That’s what I’m worried about. Already you’re skipping on work because he was upset. I clearly don’t know much about Julia, but I do know it wasn’t a healthy relationship. Don’t lose who you are because of him.” He warned.

It was like Nana’s advice about making sure he wasn’t replacing one addiction with another and I finally understood all of that too. I couldn’t stop my own self-doubt now, was it me he said he loved or the idea of me?

Was I just filling the gap Julia left?

“I won’t John, I just need today and I’ll come back tomorrow.”

“I love you sis, I don’t want to have to say I told you so when it all falls apart.”

I knew he would and that he would love being right, I’d just have to make sure I didn’t give him that satisfaction while making sure Beau and I were the real thing. Thankfully breakfast came then, the trolley being set by the dining table I told the attendant to add a tip to the bill for the room.

Pancakes covered in ice-cream and berries greeted me, followed by bacon and eggs. The smell was divine and I had nearly finished the pancakes when Beau emerged from the room, stopping in the doorway looking confused before his memory caught up with him. The look on his face told me he wished he drunk more so he wouldn’t have had anything to remember and I stopped chewing as he finally walked over.