The Book Boyfriend

Ten.

 The elevator trip up to his suite was awkward. Standing side by side we didn’t say a word, yet I could practically feel the heat from his body beside me burning through our clothes. I was fighting to keep my heart rate under control, never more aware of anyone standing so close to me in my life and trying to keep motionless, I stared at the pattern of the wallpaper that covered the button panel in front of me. Beau merely nodded his head in time to the classical music that in other circumstances would have been pleasant to hear, seemingly unphased by the ride up. Or so I thought until he looked at me and he was clearly having the same issues.

The doors opened and we moved out in a rush, the tension that had built up in the tiny box exploded around us and only seemed to build with my own anticipation of getting inside the suite. Swiping the card, the lock was released and he held door as I stepped in behind him and before my eyes could adjust to the darkness, Beau pulled me back and the solid wood of the door was behind me as he pressed me against it.

His assault was lethal; any self-control I had was now lying in ruins on the floor, which wass also where my shirt ended up in the process of walking down the entry into the room that was bigger than the lower level of my house.

“Friends, don’t, do this,” My words ended with a moan as his hands found the zip of my skirt and his mouth teased that sensitive spot on my neck just below my ear.

“I know. What if I don’t want to be friends?” He purred into my ear and with the skirt gone, I was able to move a little easier and he was quick to make use of that fact, lifting me against the wall between two expensive looking paintings.

“Then we need to talk,” What did I really expect to happen coming up here? It was a mistake, but Beau didn’t seem to agree.

“Later.”

“Now.” I dropped my legs and reluctantly he let me go. Both our faces were flushed with the burst of activity and he sighed deeply while I kept leaning against the wall in fear of falling over as my legs felt like jelly.

“What do you want from me?” He finally asked, moving around the room he stood on the other side of the sofa, leaning against the back of it the way he looked at me was intense. His question wasn’t what I was expecting; then again I don’t know what I was.

I liked him.

I liked the way he made me laugh when we spoke. I was in awe of how talented he was. I liked his passion for what he did, how sweet he really was when it was just us, talking or arguing about stupid things like McDonalds or Burger King and comparing how many broken bones we’d both had.

“I want you to trust me. If you want a relationship, I need you to trust me.”

That’s all I wanted. To trust that I wasn’t going to sell him out or that I was with him in a bid to get famous and take advantage of him. If we were going to start something, how could we if he was going to doubt everything I did?

“I can’t just do that, it’s earned not given.”

“I know. I understand that, but give me something! I haven’t held anything back from you Beau. Flaws and all, I have never lied. No matter what you have asked, hell I even admitted I was a virgin!” The redness was back in my cheeks, the heat from them making me feel ill or maybe that was just because I was putting everything out there for him and he only seemed to close up. “If just sex is what you want, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to just spread my legs because you’re you! I told you the first time we met I’m not one of those girls and I meant it.”

He said nothing and his eyes dropped to the flowers set in the middle of the coffee table. The realization this was just meant to be a sex thing came minutes later and I felt like a complete idiot. Just like Jess had ignored Grayson at the party, saying no made it more of a challenge to him and for the second time I walked away from him filled with nothing other than disappointment.