Perrie's pregnancy- a Zerrie Fanfic

Chapter 19

Perrie's POV

"Beep, Beep, Beep," went my very annoying alarm clock. I pulled my hand out of my very warm covers and pressed the stop button as quickly as possiable. I sat up quickly hoping Jade had not heard my alarm clock going off so early. I looked out my window to see pitch black. I looked back down at my clock and it read four o-clock a.m. I covered my face with my hands not wanting to face the surgery. 

Taking a couple deep breaths I jumped out of my bed into the cold air of my room. My feet almost made no sound as I ran to my closet to get changed. I opened the door and turned on the light. 

"Oh my gosh," I whispered to myself as I saw how messy it was. Clothes were throughn every which way and shoes were scattered across the floor. Who would have done this I thought. I pushed it out of my brain as quickly as it had come in. "No time to be thinking about that." I whispered to myself. Walking over the wreckage I pulled out some very comfortable clothes. 

I put some black leggings on and a lose grey wool shirt. I did not want to risk waking up Jade this early and have her get suspicouse so I decided not to take a shower. Walking into my bathroom I brushed my hair back into a high ponytail. I pulled out my tooth brush and quickly ran it under the water rushing out from my sink. I brushed my teeth quickly and in silence. 

I looked up at myself in the mirror. My fairly large stomache looked larger then it really was in this shirt. I placed my hand on the side of my belly, and sure enough I felt a tiny kick. I sucked in a huge gulp of air. Was I really going through with this? Am I just being selfish? I am doing this for myself? All these questions ran through my mind as the time came closer for me to leave. Spitting out the toothpaste and rinsing my mouth out only made the time go by slower.

Everything I did just made five minutes feel like five hours. I paced back and forth trying to remember everything the nurse told me last night on the phone. A nurse had called me right before bed to reminde me things not to do before this surgery. I went through my mental check list in my head of everything she told me to remember.

No purfum- check

Do not drink any liquids between the time of this phone call and surgery- check

Wear lose clothes- check

Do not take any supplements between the time of this phone call and surgery- check

No alchol- check 

Do not bring expensive items to hospital- check

I was physically ready for this surgery, but mentally I was not even close to being ready. I was an absolute train wreck. I looked down at my phone and relized it was already four thirty. Picking myself off my bed I carefully walked down the stairs. Through the kitchen and out the door. Pulling myself into my car the tears started flow. This was really happening, I was really going to lose my baby.

Driving to the hospital was very painful for me. It was like I was driving right into hell. I turned on the radio to losen up my tension. My breathing was very shallow because of my nerves. My hands were clammy as they held on to the steering wheel. Just as the song ended and I was getting a little more relaxed a new song came on, which in no way did it help me calm down but it certainly made me more depressed. 

Zayn's beatiful voice sang through the speakers. His part of the song of "Story of my Life," came on.

And I will be Gone, Gone, tonight

The ground beneath my feet is open wide

The way that I've been holding on to tight

With nothing in between

My eyes starting tearing up uncontroably. Why? Why is this happening to me? Why do I have to make the hard decisions? The question going through my mind all started with why. Through my very blurry vision I saw the hospital getting closer. Why I am doing this?