The Only Ones Who Felt So Alone

1- The Night Before

Dani's POV

It was already one week after the band had broken up. I still couldn't believe it. I knew I wanted to do something else such as becoming a pre-school teacher but, I didn't expect the band to break apart. Lauren didn't mind that much because she had always wanted to be able to teach kids how to skateboard, although she never had much time because we were always practising covers and originals in the studio and we even had so many extra-curricular activities.

So, after realizing that Cimorelli was no longer a girl band, Christina told us that Lauren and I were going to go to a public school for a better education. At first I was pretty excited because I had never been to an actual school before, but then, by looking at Lauren's face, I knew this was a bad thing. I tried telling Christina that homeschooling was better and I was even at a higher level than other people my age, but she didn't insist. We were going to public school. Period.

Tomorrow, I wouldn't be waking up at 10am and staying in my pyjamas for half the day. Instead, I would be waking up at 7:30am sharp, having a quick breakfast, taking a quick shower and changing into clothes that would hopefully catch the eyes of other students. I didn't want to be an attention-seeker (well, not really), but I wanted to make a good first impression at least.

I took a deep breath. I was too nervous. So many thoughts kept rushing through my head. What if I met a hater at my new school? I was always upset whenever I saw a mean comment on one of our videos. I couldn't handle criticism. 

Lauren's POV

It seemed as if everyone thought I was okay with the idea of going to a public school tomorrow because I wasn't saying anything. Why couldn't I stand up for myself? I hated myself for being so quiet and for agreeing with nearly everything! Dani kept looking my way tonight. She had a sorrowful look on her face. I didn't show any emotion.

But I was definitely frustrated. Christina couldn't just send us away to a public school like that. She didn't even wait for our opinion. She used to care so much about our feelings but lately it seemed as if she just wanted us to get out of the house. This was the effect quitting the band had on us. 

I got up so suddenly, it seemed to scare the living daylights out of Dani, and went up to my room. I got out my iPod and started unravelling the earphones tied to the iPod. I then lay down on my bed and scrolled through all my songs until I came across one that I hadn't listened to in a while; our latest original, Unsaid Things. I tapped Play, sank further down into my bed and just let the emotions come through.

I hadn't realized I had been crying this whole time until Lisa came into the room and asked why.

"Aww honey, what's wrong? Is it about tomorrow? Sweetie, you shouldn't cry! I'm sure you're going to meet a lot of friends and I'm sure at least one person will know who you are and you might even become the social queen at your school!" Lisa explained as she wiped away my tears for me.

"Social queen? Pfft! That is so Dani! I'll probably only be the centre of attention for a while and then people will get bored of me and leave me in the corner. Lisa, you know I'm an introvert and if I'm lucky enough, I'll only have one true friend"

"Lauren, you were just like me when I was 15, you know. I also used to be a major introvert and I used to hate myself a lot. But Laur, look, I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. I know you can be better than that. Learn to love yourself the way you are. You're amazing and you have so much potential even if you don't think so! You just have to believe in yourself. Show the world how confident you are. Come on, Lauren. Promise me you'll at least try". As Lisa told me this, I could see tears forming in her eyes. She was always telling us how her life was miserable when she was 14 and 15 years old and she didn't want us to make the same mistake she did. It was so sad to think that when she came back home from parties those days, she looked so happy but inside, she was hurting and damaged.

"Fine, I'll try. But I can't promise you my life would be like every girl's dream," I sighed.

"It won't. No one's life is perfect. But if you show confidence in yourself and really get out there to show the world who you are, you will definitely live a happier life"

Dani's POV

As I played video games with my brothers to forget about all the stress for a while, I saw Lisa and Lauren coming into the room with tear-stained faces. I could understand why Lauren had been crying but why was Lisa crying? I figured she was probably just thinking about her miserable, early teen years.

"Hey, Christian, play for me. I'll be back in a while," I ordered as I got up and started walking to Lauren who was getting some food out of the pantry.

"So..." I started saying, and then wondered what I was going to say next. I mean, I didn't really have anything to say. I just wanted to vent.

"Worrying about tomorrow? So am I," she replied as she got out a box of cookies.

"I'm freaking out. What if everyone talks badly about us? What if everyone starts hating on us?" I blurt out.

"Why would they hate on us? We just decided to call it quits for the band. They can't get mad at us over that. It's our decision. And I bet you're going to be just fine. I think I'm going to have the worst time out of both of us"

"Lauren, you've got to be kidding me. How can you even say that?! You're the prettier one and you're the more smarter one. You get EVERYONE! Do you know how many good friends I used to have two months ago? 4! But now I have none because you took them away from me. You thought you could just take away all my friends like that. They're not my friends anymore. You betrayed me by telling them every single bad thing I've ever done in my life!"

"Come on, Dani, that was ages ago. And I said I was sorry. I didn't even know why I did it. I had no friends then and whenever you were around them, I was left all alone. I think I'm the one who's been hurt the most, Dani," Lauren said as tears formed in her eyes.

"Girls, girls! What is this?" Katherine asked as she overheard our conversation.

"Did you know that Lauren stole all of my friends?" I questioned Katherine.

"What?! No way! Lauren, why would you do such a thing?" Katherine shouted. 

"You guys just love putting all the blame on me. I hate you all, especially you, Dani. I hope you fail all your classes!" Lauren screamed as she dramatically slammed the box of cookies on the kitchen table and ran to her room. What a drama queen, I thought.

Lauren's POV

I wasn't thinking of getting out of my room and apologizing to Dani. Not just yet. Not ever. I just wanted to stay in here and only get out tomorrow to go to school. My words weren't really true when I told Dani that I wanted her to fail all her classes. I really wanted her to do well because, well, she was my sister. I was just too mad at Dani for bringing up how I messed up her friendships.

I closed my eyes and stayed like this for a while until Dani herself came into the room. 

"Goodnight, Lauren. We'll talk tomorrow. That's if you'd still want to talk to me," she said.

"Dani, wait. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that. I want you to do well at school, okay? And we'll try to fit in"

"You mean I'll try to fit in. You wouldn't even need to. Most people don't even get my jokes"

"Dani! You'll always be funny and you'll always make everyone laugh. You'll definitely fit in. You're pretty, smart, sporty and overall perfect"

"I could say the same for you, miss!"

"Oh, stop!" I laughed. We were finally friends again and I was so glad I apologized. I didn't want to sleep feeling sorry and hurt. 

I sighed and wondered how tomorrow was going to turn out.

~