My Husband, the Celebrity

Chapter.14 This is it

I stood in the hallway right outside Christina's room, a feeling of anxiousness rushing through me. This was it. Everything was going to change after this moment. My best friends were about to become parents. I was about to be a God-Mother. I smiled to myself at the thought. So much has changed in just a year. Thinking of what led us all to this moment in our lives made me a little emotional. And then the emptiness began seeping into my thoughts. I was missing a part of me. This was such an important moment in all of our lives and I didn't feel complete. Something was missing.

"Nicole."

I heard my name called from down the hallway. My heart skipped a beat as my stomach started doing flips. I spun around to see him standing there, a look of desperation on his face.

"Matt."

His appearance was a little shocking. His eyes were wide with worry, his hair, messy, as if he had just received a troubling phone call in the middle of the night and ran out the door. He wore grey sweat pants and a plain white t-shirt that was slightly wrinkled. The start of a beard appeared where his usual smooth as silk face usually was. His overall appearance just seemed worried and unsure. I could completely relate.

He walked over to me, slowly but with purpose, as if he was ready for me to walk away from him. I met him half way and gestured for us to sit in the almost empty waiting room. Across from us was an older couple, in their sixties I'd guess. They sat side by side, leaning into each other, holding hands excitedly.

"So . . ." I mumbled after a few seconds of silence. We didn't look at each other, our bodies as stiff as statues as we sat facing the old couple and the wall behind them.

After another pause of silence, Matt finally spoke. "So . . . how have you been?"

I sighed. "Can we not do this please?"

"What? Be nice? Catch up?" He grunted.

I rolled my eyes. "No. Small talk. Being awkward."

"I'm sorry Nicole, was I not being open enough for you? Was I not acting like everything was okay and normal again? Because you know, I wasn't the one who packed up and left. I wasn't the one who ignored my phone calls for weeks--"

"Shh! People are staring."

He said nothing, just took my hand and led me further down the hall where no one was in sight. "Better?" He asked sarcastically.

"Much," I answered with attitude.

At first he was pissed. I could read it all over his face. Then a sort of sadness washed over him as he took my hands in his. "Seventy eight phone calls Nicole. I called you almost every minute of every day. And I'm not proud of it, I'm a little embarrassed actually because apparently it didn't matter to you. I didn't matter to you."

"Matt! Are you insane? Of course you matter to me . . . you're almost the only thing that matters to me. Me not loving you wasn't the problem. The problem . . . well there were a few," I sighed.

He gazed at me, long and hard. "Nicole . . . are you pregnant?"

He didn't look scared, he didn't look angry or sad or upset at all. He just looked curious and honest in his question. It took me by surprise, especially considering where we had left this conversation the last time.

I took a deep breath and exhaled my response. "No. It was a false positive."

He lifted his hand to graze my cheek and cradled my face, sadness touching his eyes. "Do you wish you were?"

I looked at him questioningly. "Do you?" I asked, searching his eyes for any form of uncertainty.

He smiled, very small, but still smiling, "I thought about it."