My Husband, the Celebrity

Chapter.15 Bathroom Duty

"Matt, please--"

"Please what? Please say I'm sorry? Well I am, okay? I am so sorry that I acted the way I did and treated you like I could do whatever I wanted and you'd stay no matter what. I'm sorry I took advantage of you. I'm sorry I took you away from your family and Christina when she was so far along in her pregnancy so that you could be with me." 

His eyes were glassy now, his lip about to tremble and he was trying to hold it together so badly now. Then he just let it all go, the toughness he was trying to keep. "But I'm also sorry that I need you. God I need you so much Nicole you have no idea. You are my family. I don't really have anyone anymore. And even if I did, I'd still need you because you are a part of me. You push me to be better and to do better and you tell me when I'm being an ass and when I'm selfish and I need that. I need to hear your laugh and see you roll your eyes at me when I say something dumb. The second you left I was forced to realize what my life would be like without you and I hated it. I haven't been able to get you off my mind. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to. I get this feeling when I'm with you that I just can't describe and I never wanted it to go away. And when it did I felt sick, just sick to my stomach with the thought that I'd never feel that again. And it really scares me telling you this now and it scares me how much I love you but I do. I just do."

I broke down. I couldn't even control it. Tears were pouring out and it was unstoppable. I knew I had my reasons for being mad, but I never even thought about how Matt felt. And I never expected him to ever say these things or feel these things about me. I knew he loved me and I knew he loved me more than anyone, but I had no idea how deeply he loved me. And it was the most beautiful, wonderful, amazingly unexpected, indescribable feeling I have ever dreamed of feeling.

I turned him toward me, pulling him closer to me until his forehead rested on mine and our lips were only inches apart. I hugged him around his waist, grasping at his shirt. I held onto him so tightly but somehow I couldn't hold him tight enough.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry."

He brushed the teardrop streaming down my cheek and held my face between his large hands. "I'm sorry."

"I love you. I don't want to be like this anymore. I need you back. I need you."

He brushed away the strand of hair that fell in my eyes. "I love you. I love you so much."

Our lips touched gently and then fiercely as we were suddenly hit with the realization that this was it. This is what people search their entire lives for. And we had it. We would always have it.

. . .

After what felt like a lifetime, Matt and I finally pulled away from each other, stopped crying, and went off to sit in the waiting room. It was so early in the morning now, that we were the only two waiting. I sat as close as I possibly could to him without sitting on top of him. He help both of my hands in his hands, firmly but gently. For a moment I forgot why we were actually sitting here and then it hit me. My best friend was currently in labor. 

"I went to the services for him-- my dad . . . the other day," Matt mumbled quietly, breaking the silence.

I twisted in my seat, angling myself towards him. I rested a hand on his cheek as he turned to me, an apoplectic look in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?" I almost whispered, my throat horse from crying.

He smirked at me, but with sadness still in his eyes. "You didn't answer."

I felt a wave of regret wash through me as I remembered the amount of phone calls I received, a few of which were days ago. "Oh my god. Matt I--"