Finding the Wolf Within

Chapter 31

Over 100,000 reads! And over 1,000 votes! And I’ve cracked the What’s Hot Top 100! I’m shocked and ecstatic and so, so thankful for all of the love! :D

And my special thanks to Rom-ComJiji, who once gave me an idea for a scene with that dirty mind of hers!

This chapter is a mish-mash of stuff…sorry! A bit of writer’s block since I wanted to explain some thought processes and move the story along but I hope you still enjoy!

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Recap

“Because it seems like too much of a coincidence that both Amber and the Caladium pack would be out to get us at the same time.”

“Yea, I can see what you mean. But I know that Amber’s been keeping completely to herself since she disappeared. Like I said, she’s been hiding out in the woods as a wolf. She’s definitely a rogue and I don’t think she’s had contact with anyone at all.”

“Hmm. It still seems fishy to me. I think that they’re somehow connected. They have to be. Maybe if we figure out what it is, we can avoid a battle.”

Eddie looked as if he were debating my reasoning for a few seconds, but then nodded his head in agreement. “We should tell my dad about your theory.”

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Chapter 31

“I know it may be ridiculous, it’s just a feeling I’ve had. I’ve been thinking that there has to be something more to this, there has to be a reason behind Amber’s craziness. She can’t just simply be jealous of me. It doesn’t make sense.”

I didn’t know how to quite explain my thinking to Eddie. It was more of a gut reaction than anything else. I didn’t really have anything to base it on, aside from the haunted look I had seen in Amber’s face. It was almost like she had lost something, or someone. And as much as I was in love with Eddie, I didn’t think he was the cause of her grief. Weres only felt that intensely about their mate.

At that thought, I swiftly brought my head up to meet Eddie’s gaze. “Hey…does Amber have a mate?”

He shook his head. “Not that I know of. We were…uh…still, you know…up until your birthday, which I don’t think would have been possible if she had had a mate.”

“Oh.” There was an awkward pause as both of us tried to figure out what to say from there. I knew and accepted that Eddie had had numerous flings with other girls, and had even teased him about it before, but this felt different. This wasn’t joking around about the fact that he had used his gift to look in on girls changing in the locker room. This wasn’t making fun of the fact that he had been a man-whore. This was about the fact that he had once had a sexual relationship with the person now trying to kill me. I completely understood and felt hurt at the same time. And I also felt guilty for feeling hurt since none of this was his fault. He had already tried shouldering the blame on this whole situation back when Amber and I had fought, and I didn’t want him to think I thought he was guilty now. I didn’t. It was just hard.

I guess part of it was because we hadn’t been as affectionate with one another these past three weeks and I missed it. And I guess I was a bit jealous that he had had that kind of relationship with Amber, not the affectionate part for sure since I knew he never really liked her, but the physical aspect. I knew that I was now ready to give my virginity to him, to make love with him, and thinking about him with other girls just upset me. It was rational and not at the same time. I knew that a lot of the were boys were like him until they found their mate – it was the animal in them, the instinct to dominate, to be carnal, to bed and breed, although there was hopefully no actual breeding going on. It was why the dog we had growing up would dry hump the air every now and then – sex was a natural desire among them. I didn’t blame him, or think any less of him, it was just that there was this hollow ache in the pit of my stomach when I thought about it sometimes. The human side of me, I guess. The one who kind of, almost, maybe wished that Eddie had waited to have sex, had waited until he had found me.