Finding the Wolf Within

Chapter 10

Ever so slowly moving towards a more action-filled plot. Please be patient with me!

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Now I know how people feel when they say they’re floating on Cloud Nine. They were only four simple words, but they made the rest of my day. I briefly wondered if we were moving too fast, then chastised myself for being so stupid. We hadn’t even done anything yet!

I spent the next couple hours working on division and Pre-Algebra. Like always, the work soothed me and the kids’ chatter was diverting. Two of them had already begun dating and were trying to get Jenny to confess to her crush. I smiled at how simple it was, how simple it could be between two people who liked each other. Of course, I would make it hard on myself – over-thinking everything to the point where I’m not even sure what’s what anymore.

The ironic thing is that werewolf romances should technically be the easiest of them all, easier than middle school crushes even. Since we’re all destined to end up with our soulmate, it should just be a simple matter of finding love rather than falling in love, which, I’ve been told, can hurt. Why then does my situation have to be so confusing? Oh right, because I’m making it so.

On the flip side, isn’t the process of falling in love supposed to be the best part? Most rom-coms are about the chase, and the credits start rolling once the couple actually gets together. The butterflies, the waiting, the wondering, the first kiss – all build up the anticipation of an actual relationship. If that’s the case, then it’s almost like werewolves get jipped.

Naturally, this is my human side arguing. It’s not like I can help the fact that I’m a closet romantic. Isn’t that what most women want – the romance, the wooing? Given that I’ve only ever dated one guy before, who happens to be one of my best friends, I think I’m due for some romance, no? By taking it slow, I’m allowing myself to experience the entire process – from getting to know you to courtship to dating. It actually appeals to both sides of my human – rational, careful and sentimental, whimsical.

My wolf is scoffing at my human. It’s kind of amusing actually – the fact that I no longer need to find a devil’s advocate since I play both sides at the same time.

My tutoring session went well, despite the argument running in my head. It really is amazing how much more I’m able to do and concentrate on now that I’ve finally become wolf. I lay on my bed, once again staring up at my glow-in-the-dark stars, waiting for Eddie to call when my phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me. Are you free to talk?”

“Yep – I’m just lying in bed, not doing much.”

We make small talk for a couple minutes. It’s simple and a way to ease into conversation, since it’s not like we’re used to actually talking to each other.

“What were you thinking about earlier? You sounded a bit preoccupied when you first picked up the phone.”

“Haha – I was actually debating internally with myself. You know, this whole two personas thing would be really freaky if my body wasn’t already adapted to it. It’s almost like having a split personality, like my mind is in constant battle with itself. It actually sounds really bad if I think about it as a human, but it makes sense to me since both the human and the wolf are parts of myself. It’s a wonder I don’t get a headache from all the back and forth,” I said.

“Yea, I know what you mean. You would think that our human and wolf sides would actually be in sync with each other, but more often than not, they disagree. You seem to be handling it pretty well though. I know it can be difficult to get used to.”