Finding the Wolf Within

Chapter 9

Morning came faster than I wanted. I had dreamt of a life with Eddie by my side. Of course, since it was a dream, it flitted from scene to scene and didn’t make much sense as a narrative. I remember running with him in the woods, jumping about as the leaves fell around us and splashing water at him in a stream. I remember him chasing after me, tackling me before licking the side of my face. As a human, he was stunning but as a wolf, he was magnificent. I don’t know how I knew what he looked like in wolf form, but I did. He was big, much bigger than me, and a sable gray color. His vivid green eyes were sharp but soulful.

Those eyes continued to stare at me as the scene changed. We were now in human form and he still had me pinned down. He was tickling me, and I felt other hands on me at the same time. At first I thought they were the kids from the shelter, because the hands were small, but when I looked over, they were my kids, my children with Eddie. Two boys and a girl. The older boy had my hair and eyes while the younger one had dirty blond hair and blue-green eyes. The girl, the baby of the family, took after Eddie. They were beautiful.

I gasped. Startled out of my dream, I woke up with tears in my eyes. That could very well be my future with him. It was a future I wanted but not now, not yet.

Shaken, I got up and went to my shower. I needed the water to calm me down. I was still determined to come to some sort of understanding with Eddie, some decision that would satisfy both our wants, but that dream disturbed any notion I had of an easy out. It described a future so perfect I could see myself giving in just to get there faster. But I knew I would regret it if I allowed myself to be swept up by the fairytale. Real life wasn’t a fairytale. Fate may have pushed us together, but I still hadn’t figured myself out let alone gotten to know much about Eddie.  

I realized that it was much later than when I normally woke up and that I would have to hurry to be ready when Matt and Lindy came. I threw on a pair of faded jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt before heading downstairs.

Both of my parents had gone to work for the day, which left me alone in the house for the next ten minutes. Dinner last night with them had been uncomfortable since my mom had actually asked if I saw my mate at school. I immediately started choking on the huge chunk of steak I had just put in my mouth. Pounding my chest before reaching for my glass of water, I furiously shook my head no. I was glad I couldn’t speak at the moment because I was afraid of what could come out. Thankfully, my parents were more concerned about whether or not they would have to perform the Heimlich that neither of them brought up the subject of mating again for the rest of dinner.

I heard a car come up the driveway, but it didn’t sound like Matt’s. Peeking out the window, I saw a black SUV stop and a tall, dirty blond guy step out of the driver’s side.

I held my breath for a second when I realized who it was. I thought I would have more time to prepare myself this morning, but he hadn’t even given me the chance to stall until lunch. I slowly opened the front door just as he stepped up onto the porch. We looked at each other for a few seconds and everything, every feeling that I had experienced in the cafeteria yesterday, came over me again.

He smiled tentatively, and I reciprocated as I stepped back to allow him inside. We stood in the foyer awkwardly until he cleared his throat.

“I don’t really know how to begin. I want to apologize for yesterday – I hope Lindy and Matt told you. I can understand why you left since I’ve been nothing more than a jerk the entire time you’ve known me. But I hope I can make it up to you.”

“Yea, about that. I should be the one apologizing.” I started twisting my fingers, already feeling out of my depth.

“No. Your reaction was completely justified. Not that it didn’t hurt,” he said, with just a hint of pain in his eyes. “We have a lot to talk about and it’s probably not going to happen all this morning. I was hoping that maybe I can drive you to school today.”