Finding the Wolf Within

Chapter 7

Happy Halloween! Please let me know what you think of the story so far. Comments, please!

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Lindy pulled me aside as soon as I made it back to the side of the gym. “Oh my god. Eddie DeForest just kissed you! How was it?! How do you feel?”

I just stood there with my fingers gently touching my lips. I could still feel him there. It was a quick brush against my mouth, but it felt like it had lasted forever. It was nothing like how kissing Matt had felt, no offense to Matt. This was gentle, soft, a whisper really. But it hinted at something more. This was how a kiss was supposed to feel. And while it may have just been an instinctual or pity peck for Eddie, it was the beginning of a new understanding for me.

I was attracted to him. I wanted him.

With that realization, I cleared my head and tried to focus on what Lindy was still ranting about. I couldn’t, wouldn’t act on what I’ve discovered. He was still wrong for me. And I couldn’t trust my heart to him.

I wasn’t sure how the rest of the dance went. I think I remember seeing Eddie and his friends leave shortly after we finished dancing and I vaguely recall my friends shaking me, trying to pull me out of my dazed condition. It was a strange feeling – being able to stand, move, breathe but not being really conscious of anything. I imagine that would be kind of like how zombies feel, that is, if they exist.

Before I knew it, I was back in my bedroom trying to wiggle out of my dress. I’m assuming one of my friends drove me home, which was nice of them considering how totally spaced out and unresponsive I was. I think Leigh finally got Lindy to take pity on my shell-shocked state because she didn’t bug me for the rest of the night. I knew, however, that she would probably call first thing in the morning.

Before I drifted off to sleep, I thought about the fact that I would know on Tuesday if I were destined to be with Eddie. I was scared either way.

As I predicted, Lindy called me the next morning and demanded that I answer her questions about Eddie. I was more coherent this time around, but nonetheless vague since I was still trying to figure out what I felt for him exactly. Whatever my responses were, I don’t think they satisfied her because she spent Sunday and Monday bugging me as well. Pretty soon, I just zoned out whenever she talked. I love her to death but she’s awfully persistent whenever she gets an idea in her head. Tenacity is a quality I normally admire, especially since I’ve been accused of being hard-headed myself, however I felt like I needed some mental time and distance away from her and her incessant grilling. Lindy was a reminder of the fact that my life had taken a really hard turn away from the route I had planned for it. She was a reminder of the fact that I no longer felt in control of my emotions. She was a reminder of the fact that I was helplessly falling for Eddie DeForest.

As I was getting out of Matt’s car after school on Monday, I told Lindy that she would finally get an acceptable, and definitive, answer in less than 24 hours. She looked a bit stunned at that, and while I walked up the stairs to my room, I know I did too.

I never would have thought that I would be wishing to have a few more days as a fifteen-year-old. I opened up my eyes the morning of my birthday knowing that my life would be different from here on out. While I had been impatiently waiting for this day to come for months now, I suddenly realized just how nervous I was. My parents had taken me aside after dinner yesterday to explain how the change works and Matt and Lindy had both described their experiences months ago. They all agreed that it didn’t hurt, but that the first time was an almost out-of-body experience. I could already feel the light tingly sensations running up and down my body, altering its composition to accept my inner wolf. After a few minutes of acclimating myself to my new body, I stretched out on my bed and curled my toes, feeling more limber than usual. I was ready.