Forever Lost

Chapter Three: Poor Mark Waters

We both walked into a large white living room. I mean, huge large living room. The back wall was lined with windows, the floors either a glowing wood or a snow white carpet.

Rebecca ran over to a little love-seat with Derick patiently waiting for her. Fix was happily snoozing in a ball by the windows next to Julie. She had just begun her morning nap, so I resisted the urge to run over to her. Talon flew to her tree -yes, it's a her- and sat happily in her nest to rest.

Chris tapped my shoulder and I spun around to face him.

"If you're about to ask why, now is not the time."

He shook his head. "Where's Mask?" his voice was calm, but I could tell he missed his last real family member, through the slight change of expression on his face.

"I don't know, here, lets ask Rebecca." I grabbed his arm and began dragging him to the love-seat, but he wouldn't budge. "Come on, let's go!"

He shook his head. Now he was just being stubborn.

"Why not? Don't be stubborn."

 He laughed at that. "I'm not being stubborn. Look,"

I turned my head to where he was looking. "Oh," What a shock. Rebecca had always hated to keep Derick waiting. He was on top of her, their bodies moving like it was natural.

"See, I doubt you'd want to disturb that." He smiled.

"Like I could. They're to in to it to even notice us even if we blew an air horn in their ears!"

We laughed and like that it seemed like we were about to go back to this morning. We were there, together. He was staring deep into my eyes, his expression sweet and gentle. I looked down and realized I had still been holding on to his arm. He followed my gaze and I slowly loosened my grip, letting my hand slide down his tan arm to his hand. He tightened his grip on my hand but not so much that it hurt but sent a pleasant jolt through my veins.

Abruptly he pulled me to his chest. I fell into him, but it didn't ruin the moment. He had my hand in his, my free one was flat on his chest next to my cheek. He took his free hand and straightened me out. He starred down into my eyes, nothing else. I took a step closer to him so I could rest my head on his shoulder. He let go of my hand and wrapped it around my back, his hands moving gracefully. I wrapped my arms around his neck and shut my eyes. He swayed back and forth soothingly.

I shot open my eyes, suddenly having realized that I let it go on and I never thought to stop it. I knew it wasn't right, I knew it wasn't, but the fact that I let him play with me this whole time would just make it that much more difficult to tell him.

I couldn't blame him though, it's May 10th, his minds out of whack, he can't help it. It was all me, I let it go on and didn't even realize until now. I knew what I had to do to save our relationship, but doing so might also damage it. Where was Renee's wisdom when you needed it?

I pulled back, placing my hands on his chest, my elbows locked. He looked down into my eyes, his entire face piercing me with every horrible memory I had, even Mark Waters. It hit me, why everything I had done to stay friends, all of this time I've been denying Chris from my heart, why I lived in fear that my past would repeat itself. It was all because of Mark Waters! I felt my face growing red, knowing that if I didn't get it over with -no, just no. I shoved the thought to the back of my mind, hoping I would never see them again, or I would face my end, -or at least lose my mind and pass out.

I sighed deeply, closing my eyes in silent prayer, opening my eyes, I reluctantly spoke the same exact words I had said earlier this morning. "This isn't right."