The Kept Secret (Slowly Editing)

Chapter 9: Circling Around Feelings

Chapter 9: Circling Around Feelings 

After walking into the house, I did what any normal pissed off person would do; stay away from the person who’s making your blood boil. I ran up the stairs to my room and slammed the door like some teenaged girl who’d just had a fight with her parents. I was trying to make it loud a clear to Chance I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him any more today. So here I was, locked in my room in my own house trying to stay away from someone I didn’t want around. I knew if I called the cops on him to make him leave, it was only going to hurt Ayanna.  That was one thing I didn’t want to do.

I lay down on my bed and looked up and the ceiling fan as it went around in slow circles. I started imagining my fights with Chance as that circle. How every time we fight we end up saying the same thing over and over again. It was just repeated bullshit. I knew what kind of person he had been before.  I was scared to find out if he was still that same person, or if he’d changed like everyone else said he had. I wasn’t seeing it though; all I saw differently is how dominating he had become over me. I didn’t get why he was so dead set on not letting me go. I mean, I know most girls would be flattered that a guy like Chance would want her.  I’ve known him my whole life, though, and something  just didn’t sound right about all this.

“Milly, open the door. We’re not done talking.” Chance spoke, breaking through into my thoughts. I guess he didn’t get the picture when I ran away from him. “Milly, if you don’t open this door I will kick it open.” I didn’t know what to say to that. Something inside me told me to get up and open the door and face him, but then the other side was telling that he wouldn’t do it. “Milly, open this god damn door! I’m done with you running away from me.”

Then, the next thing I knew, I heard him kicking at the door handle. I sat up in horror; what the hell was he doing? Before I could move off the bed though, the door flew off the hinges and slammed against the door frame. “Chance, what the hell?” I yelled as I saw him walking into my bedroom like he owned the place, “You’re going to pay for that.”

“No I’m taking that door apart so you won’t have anywhere to run to when we have stuff to talk about.” He replied as he stood in front of me. “I meant what I said. I’m done with you running away from me.” he then leaned down and brought his face next to mine, making me lean away a little and placing my hands behind me. “The past is in the past. Stop overthinking everything and let all the bullshit go.” he stated leaning down a little more, making me fall further into the bed. “I’m not going anywhere and I know somewhere inside you want me to stay.”

“The only thing that keeping me from kicking you out is Ayanna” I reply back, feeling him move in between my legs as he edged closer down to me. I could feel his breath fanning my face now as I was lying straight on my back, trapped between him and the mattress. 

“Ayanna might be a small part of it, but I know your heart is a bigger part.” he commented, pressing his body against mine and placing his hands on either side of my head and moving even closer to my face now.

“You know nothing about my heart.” I respond just as his eyes locked into mine. I was now in a daze caused by the emerald of his green eyes. I was starting to get flashbacks of that night in this ever position. “Chance…”

“Don’t you dare say it, because I’m not moving.” he pointed out has if he could read my mind. “You always do this. Stop overthinking and just let things happen. Take chances, live a little.”

I had to turn my head away, not able to look at him anymore. I knew he was right; I did always overthink things. But the last time I just let everything go, I ended up making a big mistake that led me to where I am here today. “Chance, we can’t do this.”