A Little More than Just Friends

Chapter Seventeen-

    I dragged my feet all the way home, making scraping noises against the pavement which my mother would have scolded me for if she were here. I didn't care if I scuffed up my trainers. It was a long walk home but I needed it. I needed the time to clear my head, and once I finally got to my house, I headed straight for the sofa and sunk into it with a deep sigh.

    Mandy joined me a few moments later. She must have heard me slam the door shut. She stood leaning against the doorway that lead to the kitchen, just staring at me in silence until she eventually said, “Right, tell me what's wrong.” And collapsed into the sofa beside me.

    When I didn't reply, she nudged me with her elbow. I glanced up at her, giving her a solemn smile.

    “I screwed things up with Felix,” I muttered, looking back down at my hands which were playing with the hem of my shirt.

    “And how's that, then?” She relaxed back into the cushions as though she was getting comfortable for a long story. I shook my head. She leaned in closer and softened her voice, “Come on, you can tell me.”

    “I'm just an ass, that's all.”

    She scoffed. “Jake, honey, everyone's an ass. I doubt things are that bad between you two. You've been best friends since before I can remember. You'll sort things out, I'm sure.” Her words were warm and I really wanted to let them convince me they were true but the thing is, I was pretty damn sure they weren't.

    “I can't...understand why he's so angry at me. Mandy, I–“ I sighed in defeat. I couldn't tell her that I was dating my best friend and now we're on a break all because I was flirting with a girl that practically meant nothing to me. I mean hell, Mandy probably already knew about me and Lee, she has hinted at the notion a few times that's for sure, but I still couldn't out-rightly say it.

    But this was Mandy for Christs sake. I used to be able to tell her anything and everything, and I know she wouldn't judge me or shame me for liking a boy. I think it's the pure fact of saying it out loud to someone who I see as pretty much a mother figure. I guess would mean that I was admitting it to myself...that I was...well, that I was gay? Bisexual? See, I still wasn't even sure.

    I wasn't sure if I liked guys, or if I just liked Felix. You know, maybe between me and Lee it was a sort of demisexual type thing. After all, I haven't found myself being attracted to any other guys. I haven't checked any of my other mates out. I sighed in frustration, digging my fingernails into my palms.

    Just say it, Jake. Just say it.

    “Mandy, I think I might be gay.” I forced the words out, keeping my eyes focused on the tapping of my foot against the carpeted floor. It was silent for a moment, and I began to panic. I didn't want to look over to my left and find Mandy looking at me with disgust or, or resent, so I kept my eyes down and wondered if I'd made a mistake in confessing something that's been eating away at me ever since the first time me and Lee kissed.

    “I knew you liked the D. Your father owes me fifteen quid.” She said in a rather proud way. What she'd said threw me off my game and I just sort of stared blankly at the wall opposite me for a good few minutes, before I slowly turned to look at her with that same blank look.

    “I'm sorry, what?”

    “Oh come on, Jake! You really think we didn't know?” She was smiling; probably at the fact that a blush was slowly sneaking it's way into my cheeks.

    “You made a bet with my dad over whether or not I was gay? Are you serious right now?” If my eyebrows could have, they'd have shot right off the top of my forehead leaving scorch marks behind.