Youtube Dreams

Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Award Night Success

"Party yes," I finally said, "But there's a reason I'm not wearing them."

"Really?" she asked, "What's that?"

I looked at Dawson, who loosened his grip and I held out my arms to her. I heard her gasp; she was at a loss for words. I felt somehow relieved but anxious to what her response was going to be.

"I've been hiding them, afraid to show myself. I don't want to hide anymore, and I'm not lying to my fans," I said.

"So this isn't recent?" she said.

"No, I’ve been cutting for years," I admitted, "But I'm working on it. It's been weeks since I cut last."

"Did the fame make it worse?" she asked, very curious.

"It wasn't the fame. If anything they helped me," I said, "I felt like I had people around me who really cared."

"What about Dawson?" 

I looked at him and waited for his answer. This was a question I wanted him to answer for himself, not me. 

"All I can do is be there for her. She's an incredible person, and that's never gonna change," he said.

"So you're saying she's the same person?" the host asked.

"Yes," he said, "The same one that I fell for at the last awards."

"Well Adrianna, I admire you for telling the world your secret. If you need anything, I'll be there. I hope your fans see the new, confident, and strong Adrianna we see here," she said.

"Thank you so much, that means a lot to me. I hope my fans realize how much I love them. I hated hiding this but I was in too much pain to admit it," I finished.

"I hope so too," she said, "Good luck to both of you."

We both thanked her and continued inside to get ready for the actual show. We started to our seats, but someone called us backstage. Things were chaos and people were trying to get everything ready. One of the people in charge approached us.

"We have a new idea," he said, "It's completely last minute but we have extra time. You have never performed together live like this before. What do you say?"

He looked at us for an answer and I looked at Dawson.

"The whole crew is already here," Dawson said, "I think we can do that."

"Great!" he said, "And we will still play the music video, it will just play above you while you perform it."

"Okay I’ll tell the crew," Dawson said.

Dawson and I went to find the crew and tell them the new plan. They were all for it and went backstage to prepare. Dawson and I were finally able to sit down and relax for a couple minutes. He put his arm around me and I rested against him.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Relieved but nervous. I'm glad they know, but I don't want them to hate me," I said.

"They could never hate you," he said. "Your true fans will always be there no matter what."

"Thanks," I said.

"I love you. This is your night," he told me.

"I love you too," I said looking up at him and kissing him softly.

We sat in our seats and the show began. Dawson and I sat there patiently but they weren't announcing our categories. It came time for us to perform and we got ready backstage.

"Nervous baby?" he asked. 

"We've never performed live like this before," I said.

"There's a first for everything," he said, "You'll do great. Rock it."

"You too," I said, "I love you."

"I love you too."

 We turned towards the stage as we heard them presenting.

"And now here to perform their hit song Love Is and also several winners tonight..."

Dawson and I looked at each other and smiled.

"We won?!" I said.

"We won!" he said and hugged me. We listened as the presenter went on.

"Specifically every one they were nominated for, here is Dawson and Adrianna."

The presenter exited the stage while Dawson and I entered together. The audience started clapping and we began singing. I was so happy to be on stage again and it felt great. I only caught glimpses of the video in the background, but it look great.I had been so concentrated on the music & the albums that I forgot what it felt like to perform live. This is exactly what I needed to make me feel better. I was happier than ever. I kept looking over at Dawson who was smiling big and bright at me. The same smile that made me fall for him in the first place.