The Self(ie) Love Project

Suicide

Hey pastels. This is going to be a serious chat. If you think that you will be triggered, please stop reading this update now.

Suicide. A hard topic to speak about. It puts a heavy weight on our hearts, because we know what its like to loose someone to it, or to have almost lost ourselves to it.
My best friend commuted suicide when I was in 7th grade. I blamed myself for his death everyday after. I thought that maybe if I were a better friend, that he would still be here. I regretted the last words I said to him, I told him that I hated him and that I didn't care, but I didn't mean it. Its been four years, and I am still not over it.
Loosing a loved one is hard. You never really do get over it. Everyday you see something that reminds you of that person. I see bits of Xaiver in Ro and Lexicat they remind me so much of him. I see bits of Xaiver in the flowers, and the trees outside. I see him in my boyfriend.
It is our job as humans, to make sure that no one ever feels bad enough to want to die. No one deserves to feel that low. No one deserves to hurt. Everyone deserves to be loved. To feel like they are worth something to someone.
Smile at strangers, say hi. You never know, maybe they were thinking about committing until you said hi to them. You could be their reason to live. You are always someone's reason to live.
Your friends count on you to keep them going, but don't feel bad if you can't. Its not your job to solve their problems, its your job to make them smile.
Don't feel like its your fault if a loved one commits. Its not your fault. They were hurting and didn't know how much it would affect you.
Make sure you tell your friends how much you love and appreciate them. Ask someone how their day is going. Be there for those in need. Never be the first to let go from a hug, you never know how much someone needs it.

Author's note: Lexicat and Ro I love you two so much! Ohh and Aiden I wuv you too! You guys are all awesome and practically my younger siblings! My cute sisters and handsome little brother! You three mean so much to me! I know I'm practically an adult, but you're all my besties! I love you little human peoples ^-^