Never Meant To Be Apart

26. Demons of my past.

A/N

A little thing I wanted to say that we all go through some bad things in our lives. That bad thing is different for different people. The fact that you guys are smiling, reading your favorite stories proves that you are strong enough to be able to allow yourselves to enjoy and smile despite the bad things.

I just want to say that it's okay to cry and let it out. It only makes us stronger to deal with the world because darkness is temporary although it makes you feel it will never go but trust me happiness is bound to come. we all deserves it.

>>>>>>>>>>>

"Hello, did you miss me?" He spoke from the other line but I could feel his alcohol laced breath on my neck. My body shivered from the horrific familiarity of his voice. I cut the phone with my trembling fingers and switched off my phone. He cannot know where I am. He should not know where I am.

"Are you okay Becca? " Ben asked shaking me by my shoulders to pull me out of the memories of my horrendous past that had come to haunt me in present.

"Are you okay? Who was on the phone." He asked again.

"Yeah i'm ok." I whispered ignoring his second question. I looked in his grey sparkly eyes and picked up concern and worry which had appeared from me. But how could I tell him something I don't want to acknowledge my self.

"I am okay " I said for the second time emphasising on the unspoken words requesting him to not pester me about the phone call. He frowned visibly but did not say anything.

We ate in eerie silence that could make anybody insane but I was too shocked to say anything. I looked up at his face that somehow calmed my burning sense. It felt safe to be with him. I wanted him to stay.

"Will you stay for the night?" I asked unsure of what would be his answer. I wanted things to stay as they were without giving any wrong signals but staying alone tonight was a thing I could not do. Today.

He looked at me for what seemed like hours with an unreadable expression and then he smiled a weak smile that somehow calmed me further.

We finished our food and prepared to go to bed and I prepared my couch for the night. Although we were close enough yet we were far away from the idea of sleeping together without it getting awkward.I was scared but not insensible to ask him to share a bed with me without sounding it anything but friendly. This time he got himself a pair of night clothes stating that although my clothes were too soft but still they were uncomfortably short for him. It made me smile. He made me smile somehow.

"you should sleep in the bedroom this time. " I said. He started to protest but I insisted. We were too exhausted to argue any further so he resigned to bed with a kiss on my cheek.

"Good night Becca"

"Good night Ben" I whispered loud enough for him to hear me.

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"Why were you talking to tommy?" He yelled again.

I could see his anger rising though his eyes. I knew he would hit me again no matter what would be my answer just like last time. A cold shiver ran down my spine which made my whole body tremble from fear and the memory of pain he inflicted upon me. He doesn't like me talking to the other boys from my school.

"He was just asking for the notes for english classes." I stuttered scared of ticking him off by even a word.

"And of all people he found you? WHY? Are you sleeping with him. " He yelled again and raised his hand.

Slap-

The pain struck to the left side of my face. I could taste the iron of my blood from corner of my mouth. My vision started going blurry from tears.

"No. No" I cried raising my palms in helpless defence that would maybe decrease the intensity of his hand somehow.

"You lying filthy bitch. You think I am stupid." He shouted at me and raised his hand again.

"Nooo" I cried.

I opened my eyes and found myself in dark surroundings of my apartment. My heart beat was running a marathon in my chest. My mouth was dry but cheeks felt warm and wet. My breathing was heavy and rapid. I looked around to confirm the safe surroundings of my apartment.

It was just a dream.

I adopted a sitting position lowering my legs to the floor to calm my nerves. The cold marbles of floor touched my feet and had a soothing effect. I don't know what time was it but it was still dark outside. The busy roads outside my apartment had come to a stand still with occasional rumbling of one or two vehicles passing by. My breathing had become more regular and heart was calming down slowly.

I walked towards the kitchen and reached to the top most drawer for the bottle of whiskey. Sleep had vanished from my eyes and replaced by fear. The only solution to ease up my nerves was in the bottle.

Taking a glass from the counter I took a large gulp from the liquid. It burned my throat which made me feel good.

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" Are you okay? Why are you drinking in the middle of the night. "

Ben's voice startled me causing me to jump on my spot but my reaction was delayed as I had calmed down because of the drink in my hand. I looked up at him and was met by the same look of concern in his eyes. It was flattering and frustrating both at the same time. I smiled

" No. I am not okay"

He sighed and sat besides me taking the glass from my hand gently and placing it far from my reach. I did not protest. I scooted closer to him, feeling his body warmth which his bare skin was emitting. He was not wearing a shirt.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer as if I was far away placing his chin on my head which was now resting on his bare chest.

"Everything will be okay. I am here for you. " He whispered. It made my heart clench and something twisted in my guts. My heart fluttered and raced again but this time with hope.

"Always? " I asked unsure of his words. What if he will leave me like my family did? And I will be left alone. The thought of it scared me but he didn't miss a beat to answer

"Always. "

And that was all that it took for the barriers to break that were holding the flood in my eyes and for the first time in many years I cries in front of somebody not out of fear but out of overwhelmed feelings which could no longer be contained in my tiny heart.

He pulled me closer and held me tightly as if I was slipping away; rubbing my back in a way that made me cry harder. It felt safe to do so. To open my wounds in front of him without the fear of getting them burned.

His presence made me feel safe for the first time in a long while. A while since my family died.