Recovery [ON HOLD]

Chapter Twenty One: Dysfunctional

POV from Jordyn

"She died?" I asked, in the car with Ben, my mouth hanging open. The rest of the band was taking their cars and we were driving to the destination and were staying there for a few days in a nice hotel. 

"Yep. From drug overdose." Ben's eyes never left the road, but his words were directed at me, harsh and unforgiving. 

I sucked in my cheeks. 

"Ben, I told you, it was one day. Not even! He put it in my arm and gave me the stuff. Yeah, I took the pills, but-" 

"But what, Jordyn? But what?" Ben snapped, his eyes flicking to me. I sank my teeth into my lips. "You have no idea how worried I was about you! You were fucking cutting without telling me. You were taking drugs. Heroin! You were taking heroin!" 

"Took!" I shouted back at him. "I took heroin. ONCE." 

"Once, twice, forty time, a thousand times, I don't care how many times you took it. Drugs are drugs!" His eyes were back on the road, but his ears were turning red, the sure sign of his anger about to boil over. 

"You're such a fucking hypocrite!" I screamed at him, slamming my fist into his shoulder. I knew it didn't hurt him because I barely felt it. "Benjamin Paul Bruce says no to drugs! I know your fucking history, don't you dare start this 'no drugs allowed' talk. I was one day! You were years!" 

"Yeah?" Ben growled at me. "I was years! But I straightened out! I got my shit together-" 

"It was one day Ben!" My tears were now streaming down my face. I noticed Ben had significantly sped up because of the argument we were involved in. I gripped his arm with my hand. "Ben, please, slow down, you're going too fast." 

"Am I?" Ben challenged, going faster now. I closed my eyes and started shaking. 

"Ben, please slow down..."

"Why?" he cruelly teased, "Are you scared?" 

"Yes! I am!" I exploded. "Now slow the fuck down, or I'm getting out of the car!" 

"You can't get out of the car if I'm going this fast." Ben scoffed, sticking to his fast pace. I gritted my teeth, closed my eyes and pulled at the door handle. 

Ben snorted at my feeble attempt. "Child locked." 

"Ben! Slow the fuck down!" tears were now steady against my cheeks and I was violently shaking. "Please, don't-" 

"Do you still love me?" Ben sighed, the speed not going down. I squeezed my eyes shut. 

"Do I still-For God's sake, Ben, stop the damn car. I don't even think you love me anymore, seeing what you're doing here-" 

"I don't love you?" The speed was now unbearable. I felt my phone vibrate, but I didn't look down on it. I was too focused on how fast Ben was going and how we were either going to end up in prison or in a crash. "Jordyn Phoenix Ash, I have loved you this whole entire time! I loved you ever since I met you at therapy. I have loved you through thick and thin! And you're telling me I don't love you? I was going to propose for fuck's sake-" 

He broke off and immediately stopped speeding. His shoulders grew slack and my eyes flew open. 

"You were going to what?" 

"I was going to marry you." He looked around a bit and pulled into a small turn around area. He looked at me and sighed through his nose. "Four days ago, I went out with Sam and Danny to get you a ring. That's why you were with James and Cam." 

My heart sped up. "You...you were?" 

"Yes." 

I sucked on my tongue. "Let me see it." 

"What?" Ben's eyes flashed dangerously.

"Let me see the ring." I demanded. Sighing, Ben reached into his pocket and pulled out the box for me to see. Opening it, I gasped. It was a beautiful ring. It looked so perfect. 

I bit my lip and looked at him. He was looking sadder than ever, his mouth slack. 

"Ben, I'm sorry..." I shut my eyes, still gripping the box. "I know I shouldn't have taken the drugs. I know I should have told you about cutting. For what it's worth, I still love you." 

I peeked up at him and saw him sigh slightly. "I'm sorry for yelling at you." Ben admitted, looking red in the face. "You're going through tough times. Just promise me that you won't ever do anything that stupid again." 

I nodded and felt tears roll down my cheeks. 

"And, for what it's worth, I never stopped loving you." 

I looked up at Ben and smiled weakly. 

"We're so fucking dysfunctional." I laughed. Ben nodded and smirked. 

"So, are you still up for it?" 

"Up for what?" 

"God, Jordyn, you're so dumb sometimes." He smiled over at me and pulled me close so my ear was pressed to his lips. "Will. You. Marry. Me?" 

Nodding, I smiled. 

"Yeah, Ben. I'll marry you."