Chapter 19 - What The Hell?

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I woke up around 7:30, much too early to be up on a Saturday in my opinion. Almost as soon as I got out of bed, I heard my mother talking on the phone downstairs. Odd. She's normally off to work by 7:30. Maybe she isn't feeling good, I thought. I rushed downstairs to check on her. When she saw me, her face paled. She hung up the phone and rushed over to give me a hug. Though confused, I gave her one back. She let out a huge sigh and said, "Lily, we need to talk."

Immediately I tried to think of anything I could have done that would make her upset. I came up empty, so I sat down on the couch and waited for my mother to explain. She said, "Lily, you are a very bright girl, and I feel you can handle what I'm about to say." I nodded for her to continue. "You remember when you were fifteen, and you found your father dead by the woods?" I swallowed hard. "Yeah." "Well, the man you found wasn't your father."

"What the hell?!" I screamed. "And they're just NOW figuring this out?! 2 fucking years later?!" She nodded. "Somebody who knew your father saw him this morning, walking with some bad people, towards the bad side of town." I gulped. In a way, this was worse than him being dead. "W-was he being forced?" I asked in a quivery voice. She shook her head, no. "He appeared to be willingly going with them."

I sat back, trying to comprehend everything I'd just been told. Not only was my father, the man I'd looked up to all my life, alive after being dead in our minds for two years, but he was hanging with the bad crowd! He was one of their gang! It couldn't be!

The "bad crowd" lived in a dumpy side of town. They organized a gang that met inside an old warehouse. They drove around town, robbing stores, blowing up buildings, murdering people, and other terrible things. Everyone feared them, but they usually stuck to their own turf. Unless they caught a glimpse of someone they wanted to be in their gang. Then, they kidnapped that person and threatened him/her with either their life or their family's lives. And the person always ended up joining the gang, and always ended up becoming one of the "bad crowd". It was unthinkable to think that my Daddy had gone through such a transformation.

My mother was still talking, but I wasn't listening. I was thinking. This was terrible! My Daddy was alive, but he was a terrible person! Scared to think these things, I quickly tuned back into what Mom was saying.

" So don't jump to conclusions. YourDaddy might still be the one we know and love. We'll just have to wait and see." I wanted to scream, how can I NOT jump to conclusions?! But instead I silently exited the room, going to my own. I pulled out my cell phone and began to dial Ryder's number.

He answered on the first ring, and before I could even say anything, he asked, "What's wrong?" "How do you know something's wrong?" I asked. He muttered a response I couldn't hear, then I shrugged and told the story of my dad to him. Finally, he said, "Lily, I honestly don't know what you should do, but I agree with your mother on this one. Just because he was walking with them, doesn't mean he's one of them. Don't set your mind on it, Cupcake. It might turn out all right in the end." "Okay." I sniffed.

A few minutes of silence. Then Ryder said, "Hey, there's a party tonight. Wanna go? It might take your mind off of things." I thought about it. He was right. Parties always took my mind off of things, and right now I desperately needed that. So I agreed. Now, looking back at the day, I wish I hadn't.

                                                                              ***

Ryder picked me up around seven. I was too tired and upset to do much with my appearance. I just threw on a dress and sandals. I didn't bother with my hair or my makeup. My heart was not in this. So I went to the party in my simple fashion, which Ryder pronounced, "Stunning, hot, and sexy."

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