Stand By Him ~ Book 7 ~ (BoyxBoy)

My Heart Breaks

2nd February 2041

Lani's POV

I lay awake in the bed that I share with my handsome fiancée, my Nick. Just like I have for the last few months, since I moved in with him. Turning my head to the side, I watch him sleeping from the opposite side of the bed. His dark hair sticking up in every direction, his mouth parted slightly as his face squished into the pillow. He looks peaceful, even if the light snore was irritating but I love him. I've loved him for four years, but waking up like this leaves an empty feeling in my gut.

Something had changed with us and I'm not too sure what that is. Whatever it is, it's leaving a deep and heavy feeling in my gut. It's like he's pushing me away slowly and it's killing me. I've noticed with all the small things, and like he's not even being his usual happy self. He's not touching me, or  kissing me like he used too. Hell, I even undressed in front of him last night and he didn't even bat an eye. He just laid down on the bed and turned to his side.

That hurt. I was hoping maybe if I tried to spice it up a little, that he'd jump off the bed and have his way with me. That didn't happened.

Maybe he's repulsed by me? I'm probably getting too fat or that I'm not sexy enough for him. It's been a couple months since I would wake up and feel his hard cock poking into the back of my thigh. We don't even do that any more. It's like there's an invisible wall built up between us in the bed. I miss waking up in his arms and just being wrapped in his strong, warm hold. 

It's not like I haven't tried.

Laying there a little longer, the more I wished he would just wake up and fuck me. Fuck me hard until we are both breathless and sore. Who am I kidding? It's been months since we have even fooled around. It's just hugs and kisses now. Not even those kisses are satisfying.

Leaning over carefully without disturbing him, I kissed his cheek softly before climbing out of bed. I made my way over to the walk in robe and pulled out a light yellow sun dress, then made my way to the en suite. The hot water pelted down my back, my eyes were closed tightly as I did the usual morning round of crying. It helps clear my mind and maybe if I get enough courage, I can ask Nick what it going on. It's the same thoughts I've had for the past week, I need to find out what the problem is. 

Once I was washed and dried, I slipped on my underwear and dress, then pulled my hair up into a messy bun. It was almost ten in the morning and I was starving. I knew I shouldn't have gone out last night, but my friends just wouldn't have no for an answer. We did have a good night out though and I am a little glad I did. With the amount of study that I have been doing lately was crazy. 

Standing at the pantry door, I frowned, I don't even know what to eat. I think I stood there for a good ten minutes on trying to decide what I wanted. Eventually, I settled on just some toast with jam and a coffee. Making my way over to the couch, I looked over to the coffee table and saw the pile of papers that Nick had been working on. How can he do a complete essay and even start on the next one in one night? It's beyond me.

It takes me at least a week to get that much done, and somehow he always ends up with a high distinction. That boy sure does have the brains, and I know he's going to be a kick ass doctor. Reaching out for his laptop, I opened it and turned it on. Might as well check my emails and then try and get some research done for the project I'm working on. Once I had my emails checked, which was a waste of time, I opened up Google chrome. The first thing I saw, had me slam down the lid so hard and move as far away from the it as possible. As if it burnt my skin.

"What the hell?" 

My heart was literally in my throat and it was beating so fast, I thought I was about to faint. Covering my mouth with my hand, which is shaking profusely, I stare at the laptop in shock. The tears are now starting to sting as the images I had seen, flashed through them. It can't be. Maybe I am seeing things? Yeah, that's all it was, figments of my imagination. Taking a deep breath, I slowly step back towards the couch and sat down, my eyes staying glued to his laptop. As I stare at it, I pray that when I opened it back up, that I was dreaming.