Hush My Baby (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 31

A week.

It's been a week since that evening when he broke my heart into a million pieces. I haven't left the house- afraid I might see him with someone else, smiling and laughing with someone who isn't me. He deserves happiness, that much I know but that doesn't mean I want to watch him experiance happiness whilst I lay here, hugging a bottle of brandy all on my own.

My eyes sting yet no tears escape, I've cried all the tears I can and now I'm numb. I haven't moved even though my bladder is hurting and my limbs are stiff. My phone buzzes once again and I glance over at it to see Brians name lighting my screen along with all the other messages and phone calls I haven't picked up.

I hug the glass closer to my chest, staring ahead of me into my dark room. The curtains shut and bottle after bottle of alcohol litters my floor, yet the memory of Raven walking out on me is still fresh in my mind, not matter how much I wish I can forget. His eyes, oh how beautiful his eyes are and his smile... Those lips...

Shaking my head, I clear my thoughts and take a bigger swig of my brandy; the alcohol burning my throat in a familiar way. Burying my head into the pillow Raven used to sleep on- it smells nothing like him now and I clutch onto it tighter, inhaling deep.

Buzz.

Buzz.

Buzz.

The sound of my phone vibrating on my bed side table rings in my ears and I groan in annoyance, picking it up and answering the call with a hiss. "Fuck off."

A chuckle comes from the other side of the phone and I grip it harder, taking another sip of my drink as I stop myself from swearing at one of the people I do not want to talk to now or anytime soon. If he hadn't of kissed me, I wouldn't be heartbroken...

"Cheer up sunshine, want to hang out today?" Brian says cheerfully.

I growl. "No I don't."

"Oh C'mon dude, I haven't seen you for over a week! We could go to the movies if you want?" He offers, his tone light.

"Leave me the fuck alone Brian. I'm not in the mood." I'm about to hang up when the sound of an engine starting is heard and I frown.

"Fine then. I'm coming to you, you lazy asshole."

And before I can reply and tell him I'm busy, the line goes dead and I'm laying here frowning at my phone before shutting it, not wanting to open the load of messages from Brian and my mother. I slowly sit up in my bed; surveying my surroundings.

Empty beer cans, shot glasses, dirty and crumpled up clothes are scattered over my floor and I let out a loud sigh, dragging a hand down my face. I do not want to face Brian or anyone else for that matter, I don't want to see the pity in their eyes or the word 'sorry'.

I just want to wallow in self pity and continue to hate myself for not telling Raven about Brian. I could of done more, I keep telling myself. I should be out there trying to get him back but I know I can't face the rejection. Not yet as I haven't even attempted to mend my shattered heart.

Grumbling to myself, I stiffly move up my bed to rest my pounding skull against the head board. A knock comes from the front door but I don't even move, its as if my body wont let me. What if I opened it to see Raven across the hall kissing someone else? What if it is Raven at the door, coming to tell me he's sorry and wants to hear me out.

The last thought makes hope bloom in chest yet its quicklys squashed when I hear the door slam shut as the person enters my home and walks through the apartment whistling to themselves as they go. "Y'know, it's rude to make a guest wait and have them let themselves..."