moods / phan

chapter two

// I really like the quote sharing thing on wattpad idk what's wrong with me help I need a life //

dan

Dan feel frozen, who is this?

"Are you going to tell me or not?" The voice asks, "unless you'd rather stay in there."

"N-no. I-it's twenty, twelve and four," Dan stammers out.

Dan hears the click of the lock as its tugged open and when the metal door lets go of Dan's face, he basically collapses out onto the empty corridor floor. Dan sees a pair of blue and red shoes in front of his face and looks up to see it's Phil Lester.

Dan sits up, sitting cross legged against the lockers, stretching out his arms and neck. He looks back up at Phil, who still has a kitten floating above his head, but it looks more worried than happy.

"Um th-thanks," Dan mumbles, casting his gaze downwards, a blush tinting his cheeks, "you c-can go. I-I wouldn't want t-to waste anymore of y-your time."

"You're not wasting my time," Phil says, kneeling down in front of Dan and giving him a small smile, his mood changing to a simple sad face, "why would you think that?"

"Because I-I waste everyone's t-time," Dan says quietly, still not daring to look up at Phil.

"Why would you say that?" Phil asks.

"L-look at m-me Phil. C-can't you s-see what miss-ssing?" Dan stammers, looking down at the ground with eyes filled with shame.

"Oh," Phil says, obviously looking above Dan's head, "I'd heard about that but I've never actually seen it up close."

Dan looks up slowly to see Phil's eyes full of wonder. There's a large question mark floating above his head as he stares at the stupid black line above Dan's head.

Dan backs away, which isn't far because he's already against the row of lockers. He pushes himself to his feet and takes a step away from Phil.

"I-I should go," Dan says, taking another step back, tears in his eyes, "c-class."

"Wait Dan-" Phil starts, but Dan has already turned away and is running down the hallway.

Dan doesn't go to class though, he refuses to walk in crying, so he goes to the bathrooms instead. Dan locks himself in one of the cubicles and sits on the closed toilet lid, hugging his knees to his chest.

It was times like this when Dan would call his brother and just talk to him. He'd call Dan down, cheer him up. He'd tell Dan not to listen to them, and that he loves him. Dan feels a tear slip out of his left eye and trail down his cheek.

But your brother isn't here, Dan's mind jeers, he's not here and it's all your fault.

Dan squeezes his eyes shut, wishing for the voice inside his mind to just shut up. But it never does, it always chimes it at the right moments so a few simple words will shatter Dan completely.

It's right though - his brother is never coming back. His brother will never be beside him again, he won't ever see him again.

Soft sobs escape Dan's lips. It was times when Dan was the closest to breaking when his brother would just stride over to him and give him the tightest hug, not letting go until Dan's tears stopped.

But he's not here.

"Dan? I know you're in here," Phil's voice rings out in the bathroom.

Dan freezes, his breath hitching in his throat. God, why can he just go away? Dan doesn't want Phil to see him like this - the emotionless kid crying, how bloody ironic.