Give Me Life

Heart Eyes For You.

*Dear Lovelies*

This is the writer of this book speaking.

I am back... I am deeply sorry for not writing as much, and it has been a looooong time I know!

(pleeease! put down those pitchforks)

(and the rock)

Just hear me out!

I so sorry! I got lost, some I blame on writers block and the other... It's just a big hole.. But You are all the reason why I came back strong, and let me keep writing, and I feel so honored to spill my soul to you ladies and gents because man we all have the same passion and I don't want to let you down.. I can tell you my journey and hey! here are some things about me! will that make up for it? here goes.. So I take care of loving humans with Alzheimers/Dementia, I have been at my job for three years now, part of the reason why I haven't been writing. I am exhausted, I didn't know being a memory care nurse can suck the life out of you! I recently got married in august to literally my best friend *wedding was amazing, and I was not a bridezilla only to like one person, but they probably deserved it. And it was probably a co-worker... My husband has always been supporting me, we're both twenty-six, I have known him since I was 17 years old, I always brought him everywhere with me, and my girlfriends all teased me and said we were going to get married, and GUESS WHAT! :D but in all seriousness

My mother passed this year September 4th, 2018 and it has been very hard for me ;(

specially on Fridays. I called my mother almost every single day, but saw and called her a lot on Fridays ;( I understand that everyone grieves differently but for some reason my grief has been coming in waves. And i feel as though i should talk about her more, so it can help me live and so i wont be so dark as I am now and I shouldn't be I am a newly-wed. People around me, it seems like they are tired of seeing me grieve if that makes sense? except my husband, he lets me wipe my snot boogers on him. One thing I learned is that people (Job/friends) don't want to be around or doesn't know how to help someone who has recently lost a parent. I hear things like: well I lost my mother to this and that, or (and it was a long time ago) but I am fine now so you will be too, your mom wouldn't want you being this or that..... ( I am sorry if i am offending, I am still angry )

well I am not fine It hasn't hit me as much in September, but it's hitting me hard now, and I don't want to hear all that, just let me grieve, let me be dark, let me eat my fat snacks and most importantly let me remember moments I had with my mother without you cutting me off or changing the subject. (rant over) Halloween is coming up and I am very scared because like Christmas and Thanksgiving it is going to be my first holiday without my mother. (She taught me everything in life except how to live without her, and I know everyone that has lost their parent has said this. But I am so sad and I know I still have my mother from my husband so I am trying! I have been reading the bible lately and praying and talking to god. but most importantly I am trying to do things that will make my mother proud. It feels like she wants me to write today so I will. When me and my siblings were getting things from her house, I seen a side note in her room in a small calendar that read (READ NICOLE'S BOOK: GIVE ME LIFE ON WATTPAD) It knocked the wind out of me.. My heart hurt.. I thought she forgot. I brought it up I think last Christmas ...

(I'm crying again... )

My mother was a writer as well, in Wisconsin she was a journalist, my niece found one of her books, which she printed from a type writer, and it's a huge book. I can't wait till she's done reading it so I can. My mother's favorite writer of all time is Stephen King. She had all of his books in her home, she had like six big bookcases filled with his work.. The day before she died she asked me to read to her and it was a Stephen King book ;D