I don't know what I was thinking when I said yes. But I don't regret it. It was like my mouth had a mind of it's own, spitting out that one little word with three little letters. You could hear my answer clearly, as we were by the microphone stand. A vast smile was plastered on Alan's face as he took me in his arms, our lips like magnets. It was just me and him. Alan and Kaitlyn. Just...us. I zoned out the loud cheers and just focused on the easy movement of our lips. they fitted together like a lost puzzle piece. I finally found my other half. It going to take a while until I can trust him, but I know that he wouldn't do anything like that to hurt me. Maybe that's why at this very moment all my walls are crashing down. Maybe that's why I finally feel happy and alive for once. I feel like I can finally be Kaitlyn Carlile and not have to shield my self away in fear of getting hit or judged. Maybe my life can finally be okay.
***
After a long, happy, and VERY embarrassing day, I laid happily content in Alan's arms. We all: Aaron, Austin, Phil, Tino, Alan, and me, sat comfortably in the back lounge watching a movie. I was sprawled over Alan Tino and Aaron. Phil and Austin on the other couch.
Occasionally through the motive Aaron would tickle my feet causing me to giggle at the most inappropriate times in the movie. (We're watching Silent Hill by the way) So everyone would just think I thought the movie was funny when actually I was pretty creeped out. I think Tino finally caught on to Aaron's little teasing and would pinch my knee caps. That would send me into a even more giggling frenzy.
"Okay women! What's so funny about this movie!" Austin paused the movie, amusement in his eyes that match mine.
"I-It's haha! T-haha-ino and hahaha Aaron!" I manage to say between giggles. Alan threw back the covers and the two ticklers quickly removes their hands from my legs.
"Aw way to ruin the fun Alan." Tino wines sticking his tongue out at my boyfriend. Whoa, it's so weird saying that Alan's mine. But then again, it feels so right.
"Seriously? Tickling?" Alan said with a smirk on his face.
"What? She's easily ticklish." Aaron defended, laughing at the end. I rolled my eyes, drawing my feet from Aaron's lap sticking them in the small space between Tino and Alan. I now was cuddled into Alan, almost my whole body pressed to his chest. Times like these I'm glad for having a small frame.
We continued the gory, creepy, movie with no more random giggles from me. Turns out, the tickling was a distraction for me, turning this creepy movie into a terrifying one. I think Alan must have notice because his other free arm wrapped around my legs, holding me closer in a protective matter.
I dug my face into the crook of Alan's neck trying to shield my eyes from the sight of someone's skin getting ripped off their body. Oh god, I think tonight dinner is going to come back up.
"Sorry, let go. Let go, let go." I squirm out of Alan's lap, clamping my hand over my mouth.
"Kat?" Austin's worried voice not enough to stop me. I ran out of the lounge to the bathroom, I could just barely hear their calls for me as I threw up my remains of food into the toilet.
"Kaitlyn what's-" I cut Austin off with my hand, someone collecting my hair from my face.
"Don't worry. It's just from the movie. I swear, I didn't do this out of habit. That movie is just a tad bit insane." I fall back on my butt, whipping my mouth flushing the toilet. "I'm just going to go to bed, you guys can finish that movie."
"Are you sure?" Aaron handed my a damp wash cloth.
"I'm sure. Thank you." I take the wash cloth, putting it over my mouth.
"Okay, feel better." Tino let go of my hair smoothing it out.
"Best you don't think of the movie." Phil shot me a sympathetic smile before leaving the door way to the back.
"Sorry I made you watch this movie didn't know it was that gory." Austin apologized flashing me a small smile.
"It's okay bro. You didn't know." Soon everyone was back to the movie, minus Alan. "Aren't you going to go back to the movie?" I ask standing from my spot washing my face with the cloth.
"And leave my girlfriend here alone? Never." When he said girlfriend my heart skipped a beat and my cheeks flushed. I tried to hid it but Alan caught my chin making me look up at his big brown eyes. "Come on let's go to bed." Alan smirked, pulling back a loose strain of my hair behind my ear. "You know, I like the blue at the ends." He twirled around a blue strand of hair, dropping it so it fell back on my chest. "It suits you." I smile a little, taking Alan's hands in mine.
"Yeah...I kinda did it as a fresh start. I wanted to be good and healthy and look different for you. So I started with a little bit of dye." My gaze drifted down as I mentioned that I did this for him. Again, Alan lifting my face back up. This time, his eyes were serious and concerned.
"How are you Kaitlyn?" His thumb rubbed soothing circles on the back of my small hands.
"I-I'm actually doing pretty good. It's harder for me to eat, than it is to stay clean. I only relapsed once, but I didn't do too much before Jayy had found me." He tensed at the mention of my last relapse.
"May I..?" I knew what he was asking for, and I knew he was going to want to see them but they were hideous. Not something any guy would want to look at. But Alan was asking, we wanted to see them. So I showed him. I rolled up my red basket ball short all the way up my thigh revealing the pink scars. He ran his fingers over the scars causing goose bumps to cover my legs, a burning feeling in me.
"Those will be last you'll ever have to see. I know some look recent but only by a week. I promise I won't ever hurt my self again. I was just...a mess and I felt broken. But now... now I have you. So I should hopefully be okay." I take a deep breath still watching his fingers on my scars.
"No, you will be okay." I looked up, so many emotions swirling in his eyes that I didn't no what to do or say. So just like earlier in the day. I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought our lips together.
What would I ever do without him?
--------------------------------------
SO THERE YA GO! HOW WAS IT? WAS IT GOOD? I HOPE SO! SORRY IF IT'S CRAPPY AT FIRST, I DID HALF OF IT WHEN I HAD A HORRID HEADACHE BUT IM GOOD NOW! SORRY IF IT'S SHORT AGAIN, THEY'LL BE GETTING LONGER SOON ;) ANYWAY HOPE YOU LIKED IT AND KEEP ON VOTING COMMENTING AND READING! SEALS IM LOVING ALL OF THE COMMENTS AND ALL THE READS AND VOTES! IT'S JUST AMAZING!
TILL NEXT TIME! BYE- BYE!
~stars can't shine without darkness~
YOU ARE READING
Be My Guardian Angle (Alan Ashby)
Fanfiction"if someone comes into your life to change it for the better.. don't ever let them go." was the last thing my mother said before she died of heart problems. and since then my life has gone down hill, searching for men to love like my mother loved me...
