Inexplicable Attraction (Editing)

Inexplicable Attraction: 1

I'm nine teen years old, I'm in college, and I'm a virgin. its not to say that being a virgin is bad, i have many friends who believe in staying a virgin until they marry, i respect those friends. but then i have those other friends, who have had sex, and they love it. i mean love with a capital 'L'. these friends are some what sex addicts. i guess.

they say its 'amazing', or 'the best thing ever' , or other things like that. and honestly i want to try it, i want to have sex, but there's a problem. well i guess you could say there are multiple problems. one. college guys who have had sex do not want to have sex with a virgin because it 'sucks'. i don't know, some guys have told me that. but i guess if these guys really cared for the so called virgin, they wouldn't care. but they don't care about these girls enough to stop themselves from talking. so we've established that sex with a virgin sucks, i don't want to embarrass myself because I'm not going to know what to do.

that brings us to number two. i don't want to be criticized, like at all. even if the guy criticizes me five months after we have sex, i do not. i repeat, under any circumstances want to be criticized due to my lack of knowledge, or my body.

which brings us to number three, you see i scar easily. way to easily. and because i guess you could say that I'm a tom boy, i like sports and i like to play rough. i have way to many scars on my body. one i have on my right leg, upper thigh. on my fifteenth birthday i was eating a 'cup-of-noodles' soup. i wasn't celebrating my birthday so i kind of got hungry and decided to eat that. i walked from my kitchen to my couch, then my dog suddenly jumped on the couch and on me, which made me spill my cup-of-noodles on myself. the soup was very... extremely hot. so i ended up at the hospital with a second degree burn, and some time later, after it healed. a horrible, ugly scar. another scar i have is on my ankles, only the ankle, the back of my legs. on my eight birthday my mother was cooking at her friends house, i suppose it was dinner. anyways she was cooking and i was playing with the children of the house, i ran with my mom because we were going to go back home, we lived like three houses away from them. so my mother was holding a glass container with extremely hot water and some kind of tomato, lucky me, it some how exploded and the contents of this container fell onto my ankles. so that birthday was also spend at the hospital, but burns so bad i couldn't walk for weeks. i had surgery because i needed to get the glass removed from my legs. and ended up with an ugly scar. that's why i hate wearing sandals.

and my last scar story, trust me when i say i have plenty more, but these three scars are the most... ... noticeable. so this last scar i would probably say, i hate the most. growing up i had Farley small breast, so i always wore training bras. until about eight grade when my breast decided to grow. it hurt like hell, and my body was unaccustomed to my new 'D' cup breast. so i had to begin to wear, what my mother called, 'Big girl bras'. so i had to wear these new bras, that my body was unused to, so my skin became irritated. and that's how i earned this scar, so right in the middle of my breast i have a scar. it has become less visible over the years, but its still there. and i am self cousious that if someone ever sees any of my scars that they will lower my self-esteem and criticize my body.

i guess you could say i have a nice body, i have huge breast, and a nice butt. I'm a little on the chubby side so i have a belly, and I'm not that tall, only about five seven. i get hit on a lot, but Ive only had about two boyfriends, they were each about eight months to a year long. i have kissed only about ten different guys, and made out with about four. i have never had sex, so i am a virgin. and i hate my body.