My Life Has Been a Lie (a Cimorelli adopt fanfic)

Chapter 33 Old memories

Lisa's POV

*************************

I sat there with Sophia's head in my lap, just thinking about everything she had said. I looked down to see her beautiful and angelic face rested on my lap as she laid the peacefully asleep. Who could ever be horrible to another human and deliberately hurt them, it makes me feel sick!

I moved a piece of hair that dangled across her pale face as she slept, tucking it behind her ear. I leaned back against the wall next to the bunk bed and sighed, holding back the tears. It hurt having to see my baby sister go through this! And it brought back old memories that I thought I left behind.

All of this reminded me of when I was younger and the secrets I had never told anyone. I never told anyone half of what I went through as I was embarrassed and scared to be judged. Flash backs started to happen.

There I stood the 14 year old me in front of the mirror in our old bathroom. I could see the tears that ran down my face whilst I could hear my mind chant and curse;

"you're so fat! Why can't you be skinny and perfect like the other girls? You're pathetic! You're a waste of space! Try harder you screw over!"

The tears still ran down my young face.

Everyone knew that I had problems with eating at that age but still to this day nobody knew what I would also do.

I saw myself reach for the blade and close my eyes, pleading for gods forgiveness. I then lifted my sleeve and ran it across my wrists. The pain and darkness that I felt at that time was all to strong but I promised myself at that moment to never let anyone of my siblings go through this.

I shook myself out of the flash back. I noticed the wetness of my face and quickly wiped it with the back of my hand. I broke the promise I made to myself all those years ago, I was such a bad sister! I had a feeling of what was going on and I did nothing and now it's too late! She's already going through it.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the blade I picked up from the bathroom floor. I just sat there and stared at it, thinking about everything. I put the blade down to my arm. I deserved it! It was my fault I should have done something!

My mind was at war with its self "No Lisa! What are you doing! You deserve it! Do it!"

I was about to drag the blade across when I heard the door knob move. I quickly put the blade in my pocket as Amy walked in.

"Hey li-" she stopped as she looked at my teary face,

"Lisa what's wrong?!" She asked seriously concerned.

"Nothing but we need a family meeting, like now!" I replied. She nodded and walked back out the room.

I'm not letting Sophia go through this anymore! I'm putting a stop to this for hers and my sake. 

************************

A/N: sorry it's taken so long to update but here a new chapter so enjoy :)