Bleed To Love Her (B.N)

Autumn 1976

“You’re a fucking bastard, Lindsey! How dare you speak to me like that?” Christine, Mick, John and one of the band's new producers, Ken Caillat, watched in shock as Stevie and Lindsey tore at each other for the fifth time that day; the band had only been in the studio for three and a half hours. “Yea? Well you’re a spoilt little bitch! You want for nothing and you’re a pain in my ass!” Lindsey shot back with so much force, that the people stood in the control room felt the blows. “Ugh! I hate you! Why I was ever in love with you, I’ll never know! I wish I’d never fallen for you in the first place!” Stevie screamed back, the tears running down her face. Lindsey stood back, shocked into silence. The rest of the band and Ken held their breath as they watched on. Stevie stood back and covered her mouth with her hands, realizing what had just slipped from her lips. They looked at each other in silence. Just as everyone thought they would try and make it up, all hell broke loose again when Lindsey’s new girlfriend, Carol Ann Harris, walked in. “Hi everyone. What’s wrong?” Stevie’s shot a look in the direction of the new arrival. “And she can fucking take a hike too!” Stevie screamed at Lindsey, who immediately went into defense mode. “Leave Carol out of this!” They were right in front of each other now, their faces red with anger. “Lindsey.” Stevie hissed. “What?” Lindsey shot back. “You and Carol can take a long walk off a shot pier.” With that, she turned away quickly, her long blonde hair hitting Lindsey in the face, her long chiffon dress floating out behind her as she walked. “I’m going home for a bit, Ken. Call my house when Buckingham and his little whore have left; I’ll come back then and do my vocals.” With that Stevie left, leaving Lindsey in a blind rage and everyone else in stunned silence.

When she arrived home half an hour later, Stevie slammed her front door so hard her house shook. She gasped, realizing what had happened. Sinking to the floor, she burst into tears. “Oh God!” She screamed at the empty house. “Oh God, where did we go wrong?” She screamed again. Her tortured screams echoed through the house. “Damn you, Lindsey Buckingham!” She yelled through her wails. “Damn you and your little whore! You can both go to hell!” Suddenly, the door nudged open behind her. Stevie crawled away from the door, whimpering. Her younger brother, Christopher, looked around the door; Stevie, in all her anguish, had forgotten he was staying with her. “Steph? What’s wrong?” Christopher shut the door and ran to his sister’s side. Stevie sobbed into her brother’s chest. “Don’t call me that! Please, Christopher, don’t ever call me that again!” He rocked her. “But that’s your name –” “No!” Stevie yelled, hitting her brother on his chest. “I’m not Steph! He called me Steph! That bastard Lindsey Buckingham called me Steph! Don’t ever call me what he called me! Call me Stevie! I’m Stevie! I’m Stevie! I’m Ste – ” Her voice broke down, turning into nothing but haggard whimpers. Christopher rocked her for a few minutes more, before picking her up and carrying her up to her bedroom. He lay on her bed, stroking her hair. “Do you need anything, Tee-Dee?” He asked, using their mother’s nickname for Stevie. Stevie smiled weakly. “Can you drive down to the studio and tell Ken I won’t be going in tonight?” Christopher nodded and began to get up. “And Christopher?” He turned back to look at Stevie. “Thank you, baby brother.” Christopher smiled and kissed Stevie softly on her cheek. “I’ll always love you, Stevie. Even if he doesn’t.” Stevie nodded and rolled over, falling into a deep sleep.

“Christopher, darling! How nice to see you!” Christine rushed towards the younger Nicks sibling and gave him a hug, holding her glass of wine away from them so none of it would spill. “Hey Christine. Is Ken around? I have a message from my sister.” “I’m here!” Christopher and Christine walked into the control room, where they found Ken sitting with Lindsey and Carol. “Hey man!” Lindsey said cheerfully, seemingly haven forgotten his and Stevie’s fight. Despite his cheerful welcome, Christopher was in no mood for Lindsey. He loved Lindsey like a brother, but he had never seen Stevie in such a state over him before. Christopher nodded, but said nothing to a confused Lindsey. “Ken, Stevie says she really sorry but she won’t be coming back in tonight. Something came up.” Ken nodded as he and Christopher both glanced at Lindsey, who was watching them closely. “Can I talk to you outside, Ken?” Christopher said under his breath. Ken nodded and the two of them left the control room. “I’m going to get a beer.” Lindsey said, patting Carol’s knee and walking out of the room. He hid behind a wall, listening to Ken and Christopher’s conversation. “Stevie would never miss a chance to lay down her vocals. What’s the real reason she’s not coming?” Ken asked. Christopher rubbed the back of his neck, looking way older than actually he was because of the stress. “I got in, I’d only put my head round the door… and I found her crumpled on the floor. She was screaming, crying. I’ve never seen her in such a state over Lindsey before. Not like this, Ken. Never like this.” Ken shook his head. “It’s not fair. In normal circumstances, when you break up with someone, you never have to see them again. But…” Ken trailed off as his mind wandered through the memories of the many fights he had witnessed happen in the last few months; not only between Stevie and Lindsey, but Christine and John as well. “But this isn’t a normal set of circumstances, is it?” Christopher finished for him. The two men shook their heads in despair. Lindsey sank to the floor and covered his face with his hands. “She was in real pain, Ken. And I know Lindsey has hurt her before. But… Did anything different happen this time?” Ken thought for a minute. “Stevie said she wished she’d never fallen for Lindsey. And then Carol walked in.” Christopher nodded. “Not a good combination.” “Not a good combination indeed.” The two of them agreed that Christopher would bring Stevie back to the studio tomorrow when Lindsey went on his break. Then they would see what would happen when the two were back in the same room. As Ken and Christopher parted ways, Lindsey got up and composed himself. He walked round the corner, almost knocking Ken to the ground. “Sorry, man. I was just on my way to get a beer.” Lindsey said, holding it together. But Ken, after growing quite close to Lindsey, knew better. He knew Lindsey had been there, listening to his conversation with Christopher. And he knew Lindsey was now tearing himself apart inside because of his fight with Stevie. But Ken said nothing of what he knew. He just smiled and nodded. “Okay. Don’t be too long.” And with that, he left Lindsey to go and get his beer.