Disarray. Harry Styles

sixteen✨

Disclaimer

The language in this chapter is slightly more harsh than usual. If you are sensitive to that type of thing I suggest you skip this chapter. For those who do choose to read, be excited! I think this is one of my favorite updates yet!! Enjoy!

"You little fucking son of a bitch!" Kristen yells before slamming her door in my face.

I suppose I deserved that. I did leave her with no explanation and ignored every texts and phone call she left me in the past month. Quite a dickish move.

"Look Kristen, you have every right to hate me and I know I scre-" I was cut off by Louis walking up behind me.

"Harry?"

I turn to face him and watch him pull out a key and open the door to Kristen's apartment. I swear to fucking god if he and Kristen....

"Yo where the hell have you been?" he questions.

"No! Why did you let him in!" Kristen yells from the other side of the room.

I kind of fall into the background while Louis attempts to persuade Kristen to let me come in.

"Kristen, he lives here. I understand that you're not used to this but Harry was an arrogant, stupid addle brain for much of life; as was I. He does stupid shit and it annoys the hell out of everyone but we need to give him a chance to redeem himself." Louis says in his most 'this is my field so let me handle it voice'.

He turns around and I swear he went from chill to pissed in a split second. "What the fuck is wrong with you!"

I raise my hands in the lamest attempt to keep everyone calm even though it's obviously not going o be effective. I take in a deep breath and exhale so hard that it hurts. This is gonna be rough.

* * *

We've all been standing in the exact same spots for the past hour. After giving them my best explanation as to where I was for the past month, I can see them processing all the information.

"So let me get this straight. You left on a spur of the moment adventure to a bar where you acquainted your old bartender pal who you then forced to allow you to be a drunk ass stoned slob in his home for several weeks? And this morning you miraculously came to your senses and decided 'shit I'm a terrible person, better leave and pretend I never put this family and their children in harms way'." I swear no one has ever given me a dirtier look than the glare Kristen's narrowed brown eyes are given me now.

Before I can even say anything she starts again. "Do I need to call an exorcist or something because you sure as hell aren't the Harry Styles I know." And with that she walks past me and slams the door on her way out.

Louis gives me the classic 'sucks dude' shrug and grin before leaving me alone in the middle of her doorway too.

* * *

I don't even know how to fix this. This isn't the kind of apology that flowers or gifts can be of use. When you break bones you need a doctor. They'll heal on their own but, without care things will never be proper again. I just don't want Kristen and I to heal the wrong way.

I feel more pathetic than ever, sitting in my room trying to collect my thoughts. Why do I always get myself into these types of messes? Even when the odds are in my favor I manage to turn them around.

I waste the whole day laying on my bed and wallowing in my own self pity. I watch the sun slide down my walls as it moves east to west. My room grows darker until I sit in pitch black all by myself. Maybe people don't change.

"You're pretty feeble you know that right?" Her voice sounds in the darkness.

"I think you need a more crude adjective than that sweets."

I feel her presence moving in the room even though I can't actually see her. I feel the bed shift a little when she lays down next to me. I can't see a thing but, when I turn to face her I swear even in the shadows her eyes still gleam. But they look hurt and there's no doubt why.

"When you left I thought that maybe something happened to you. Louis kept telling me that if Reid got his hands on you he wouldn't be playing no hide and go seek with you. For the first few days I was anxious. The second week I cried. The third week Zayn and Louis came to run the shop because I couldn't get out of bed. And the fourth week was when I decided that you weren't going to come back. But you did and now I can't help but think that you should't have."

I let her words sink in and add them to my pile of self loaf.

"I thought you cared about me. God knows I care about you but, I suppose it's a lot to ask of someone to concern oneself with another." Her voice is hoarse as I know mine is too.

"Are you crying right now?"

"Yeah Harry. It seems impossible to have so many tears for a shit person like you but I do." She's crying but I know she has a small smirk as she says those words.

It's stupid of me to ask, I know, but I want to understand why. "Why Kristen? Why'd you give me a job or let me stay with you? For fuck sake, why do you waste your time on a corrupt minded guy like me?" I just don't understand.

"I helped you because you needed help. I wasn't going to let you become homeless; Montreal already has too many people in the streets. Now why do I waste my time on a corrupt minded guy like you you?" She takes a minute. " I guess because a corrupt mind isn't really corrupt, it just works in a different way. In a sense my mind is corrupt too. I don't mind faded colors."

Feeling like I'm six feet under when I'm thirty thousand feet in the air.

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Author's note

That last line of this chapter is actually lyrics to one of my favorite songs. It's called Wake up by EDEN and it's simply beautiful. The poetic talent in that song is unreal. I found that this song fit perfectly with the concept of this chapter and I strongly advise you to check it out. I attached it as a video. Hope you like it and the chapter!