She is my Slave (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 16

I Hope I’m not a casualty
hope you won’t get up and leave,
May not mean that much to you,
But to me it’s everything…..
Everything
-One Direction

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Chapter 16 (Edited)

I changed back into my clothes, feeling exhausted. Still the tingly effect of the kiss was fresh on my lips. That was the best kiss of my life. I smiled at my thoughts. 

What was Zayn really doing to me? His charm, his suspicious self, overprotecting behavior and those affectionate comments he gave to me makes my heart beats fast.

I’m totally gone to another world of my thoughts that I never noticed Zayn’s presence. He was standing in front of me with arms fold on his chest and amusement plastered on his face. I looked at him, and blush rose on my cheeks.

“What are you thinking, I’m here from the past five minutes” he said with a slight chuckle. He gives an amused look. “I-I just you know thinking of---nothing”
“nothing? Wow what an interesting topic” all the amusement was faded from his face. “I said earlier you can’t lie to me. So, tell me what you are thinking about” I gulped at his eyes which now showing irritation.

“Just about last night” I murmured fiddling with the end of my shirt. I heard him sighing. “Take the pill” he said holding a pink colored pill in his hand. Then when I remember we didn’t use protection. Taking it from his hand, I gulped it down my throat with water.

“Now tell me, what you want to talk about” he said as he sits beside me on the bed. His arm brushing mine, he still shirtless. When I notice his bandage, “how’s your hand”. He smiled, barely reaching his eyes “Faith my hand is fine, healing”. I nodded “I’m sorry for last night, I almost yelled at you”.

Nervous was a lame word to define my condition, I’m scared beyond nervous.

“Faith I’m not angry at you. Are you scared of me?”  I looked at him, his eyes showing hurt. Did I hurt him? I never wanted to hurt him. But I think I just did.

“No—no I’m not scared of you, I am just nervous and embarrassed at my behavior.” he looked away as I said.
“Faith, you never embarrassed me, you amused me and you were pretty loud last night” he chuckled. I blushed as the memories of last night came back to my mind. But I have to ask him about Jack. And I know it’s now or never.

“Why you did that?” I asked nervously. “Did what” he said looking at me with brows furrowed. Did he know how immensely hot he looks when he does that. Ignoring his hot looks and focusing on the topic I said “Jack. Why you did that” that name was enough to change his whole expression which is now changed into anger. His teeth gritted, jaw clenching and unclenching. His hand fisting in my bed sheets. I gulped hard waiting for him to say something.

“Faith, he knows it correctly that you can’t meet your family. But still he showed up at my house. And he likes you that’s enough to make my blood boil” I just stare at him as his voice loathing with anger. “I—I don’t like if someone looks at you like that, what’s mine is mine. The way he looks at you makes me mad. That fucker has to know his place and I just showed him”

Is he jealous? No he can’t be. I shook my head. I place my hand on his. “Mr. Malik I’m yours and that fact Jack also knows, I just don’t want you to insult him. He did nothing wrong” the feeling of him shoving me away was my fear. But to my surprise he nods.

“I don’t want to talk about this shit load anymore” he said sternly. I can tell he was holding something but I leave it there. I nodded. I rub my palm to his hand. He looks broken.

We both sat there for long enough. “Faith I’m here for one more thing” he said after a long comfortable silence. “Huh—huh yes” I said. I’m zoned out staring at our hands which are intertwining perfectly.

“Natalia my doctor, we have an appointment with her tomorrow. As we both were finally doing this, I want to make sure that you’re alright physically. And she will tell you the rest, what you prefer because I’m not much of a fan of protections. She can suggest you any pills or medicines” I nodded blushing. Why I always blush when something like this comes up. He already saw me naked and heck we did it. So, why I blush furiously.

“I don’t want any physical illness or something. I already had a check-up with her and my reports are clear. You can see them, all problems that sexual contacts can occur is negative in my reports like AIIDS. You can have a look at it. So, I just want to make sure from your side too. Is that okay with you?”  He completes. I just listen carefully.

I nodded “I gave myself to you when I entered this house, whatever you say is my command and honor to follow”
his eyes are intense and they are making holes in my soul like he is trying to find something that I was hiding deep in me. My breath hitched. His hand which was intertwined with mine was pulled away. He rubs his hands on his face. He groaned loudly in his hands.

I hesitantly moved forward rubbing his back, he looks upward at me. Guilt is what I saw on his face. Something was really bothering him, I want to find out but I just don’t have the courage to say. I remember when he asked me about my dream, and I never confronted him. So, how could I expect him to say something to me?

If I never open my shell to him, I can’t expect him to be. I have to tell him, no matter how difficult it can be but I have to. All in these years I never told this to anyone, which helped me because I never want anyone’s pity towards me. But I think I have to tell Zayn. For some reasons I found it right to tell him.

I looked at him, his hands blocking his face, taking a deep breath chanting not to cry.

“It’s my mom” I said my voice was barely audible and breath mixing as I said. He looked up at me but I ignored his gaze. “Your mom what?” his voice showing confusion. “She had AIDS” I said. His grabs my hand in his intertwining are fingers. Giving me warmth. The rain still pouring out, the clouds are dark. It’s almost dark outside. But nothing compared to my dreams; they have dark holes that pull me inside. Every time I think about it.

“It’s about the dream?” he asked with concerned eyes and I nodded.

“I was really small; only twelve when she died. My dad wanted money for his alcohol expense. He used her for this. He brought different men every night, they raped my mom. We had nobody, no relatives we could go for help. If we tried to protest he beat her more. She gave up and let him do whatever he wanted. One day my mom vomited blood. My dad panicked and took her to the hospital when we found out that she was infected by AIIDS. We had not much money for her treatment. My dad left her at home, and didn’t know how he could maintain his alcohol. He came back home to beat her and that repeated every night. All those things ended one day when in the morning I found her laying flat on the bed, her nose was bleeding so was her mouth. She was really pale. She was dead. She always said to me that am strong, but seeing her dead broke me immensely. I never had the courage to say anything to my dad, and still I don’t have. I was the reason she died. If I protested that time maybe my mom would have been here. With me”

I breathed as tear shed out of my eyes. I dared to look at him; his face was blank and cold. He just stares at me. After what feels like ages he said “It’s not your fault Faith, it never was your fault.” He shifted on the side of the bed pulling me closer. I hugged him, letting his odor fill my nostrils. “Never blame yourself ever. You’re too innocent and true Faith. You always amaze me” he sooths my hair. “I—I can’t do anything” I sobs. “You are not capable off it, you were too small for it, but you still stayed there with your mom that’s a big thing. Your mom loves you Faith she really does”. I look up to see him looking at me “really?” I ask. He nodded kissing my temples.

At that moment I realize. I think I’m falling, I think I’m falling hard for this man. 

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Author's Note; ugh it takes me so much to write this chapter, i delete it five times i wrote again. its kinda emotional for me to write. and i listen moments and truly madly deeply; on repeat to help me. :)

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