Song: Therapy- All Time Low
~Harry~
It’s been 5 days sense Louis got out of the hospital, they still say that we should keep a close watch on him.
“Boo, they said that you need to go to at least six weeks of therapy, and then they’ll do another diagnosis, and see if your still suicidal.”
“I don’t want to go.” He mumbled, curling closer to me in the bed.
“Lou. It’s not an option. You’re going.” I told him.
“Why should I?” He looked up to me with his puppy dog eyes.
“Because, Lou. We don’t want to have to worry about you 24/7 on wether or not you’re going to try an take your life.” I started rubbing circles on his shoulder.
“But I’m not going to. Besides, you’ve told me flat out you don’t plan on stopping with the cutting, shouldn’t you be going to one of these classes too?” The anger in his voice was clear.
“It’s not a class, Boo. It’s just a place for you to vent how you’ve felt that week. You only have to go six times, thats it. And then, as long as your honest, and really don’t plan on killing yourself, then you will be undiagnosed.” I tried my best to hide the hurt in my voice. I don’t like that he’s bringing into account my self harm.
“Either way. I’m not going, unless you start going too.” He sounded like a child who wasn’t getting his way.
“Really, Lou?” He just glared at me. “Fine, if that’s what you want, then I’ll go. Happy now? I’ll go, just so I know that my boyfriend is going to be alive when I wake up!” I pushed him off me, and went to the kitchen to make tea.
“So what? You’re pissed at me now?” He asked, sitting at the island.
“Yeah, Lou. I am. What the fuck. We want you to get better, and you’re making a fucking deal. I’m not trying to kill myself. You are.”
“What’s your point? You’re still hurting yourself! If you don’t want me to think, or try and kill myself, fair enough. I don’t want you to cut yourself. I don’t really see how I’m in the wrong here, but whatever! I’ll be back. I’m going to see the useless doctor, happy?!” He walked away.
“Louis! You’re not allowed to drive on that medication!” I ran after him, and getting in the drivers seat.
“Whatever.” He hissed.
~Louis~
“So, Louis. I’ve been told that you tried to commit suicide? Would you like to talk about that?” The guy asked.
“No, not really.” I mumbled.
“Okay, how about why you’re upset?” He suggested, writing something down.
“Why do all the people talking to me now, write down what I say?” I nodded to his notebook.
“So when we are looking over diagnosis’s, we can look at past information.” He told me.
“Fine. I’m pissed, because my boyfriend is making me come here. I don’t see why I have to. He cuts himself, and doesn’t have to come here. What sense does that make?” I demanded.
“Mhm.” He nodded. “And how do you feel about your boyfriend self harming?”
“It pisses me off. He at first told me he’d try and stop, then I found out he’s hiding blades from me. And now he’s forcing me to come here, when he has more problems than I do.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because, I’ve done something like this once, he’s been doing it for years.”
“Well, don’t you think taking your own life is a little different that self harming? Not to say your boyfriend shouldn’t talk to someone, but maybe you could flip this around, if you were in his shoes, how would you feel if he had tried to commit suicide?” I just gave him a blake stare. What is this shit.
“Whatever, that’s not the point. The point is, we’re both fucked up, but only I have to get help for it. Doesn’t make sense to me.” I rolled my eyes.
“Mhm.” He wrote something else down. “Is there anything else bothering you?” He asked.
“No.” I looked at the clock, it had already been 25 minutes, from my 30 minutes sessions.
“Well that’s fine, I’d like to ask you to try something for me.” He asked.
“What?”
“I’m going to give you this notebook, and whenever something is bothering you, write it down, write down why it makes you feel that emotion. I wont read it, unless you’d like me to. But this way, you don’t bottle up how you feel.”
“Um, okay.” I laughed, this is such a childish thing, but I’ll go with it.
“Great session Mr.Tomlinson. I’ll see you next week.” He handed my the notebook, and lead me to his door.
“Thanks.” I mumbled.
“So, was it as bad as you thought?” Haz asked, eyeing the notebook.
“No.” I paused, throwing it in the back seat. “It was worse. He wrote down everything I said, and asked me how I felt about it. Like, what’s it matter.” I laughed at this stupid shit.
“C’mon, Boo. It can’t be that bad. He just wants to help.” Harry offered.
“No he doesn’t. He wants to get paid.” I turned on the radio and started singing alone to the song.
“What’s the notebook for?”
“He wants me to write down how I feel. What am I? Five?” I groaned, looking in the back seat at it.
“I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” He smiled, looking at me, like he wanted to say something.
“What?” I asked, worried.
“Uh- It’s nothing.” He smiled, fakely.
“Harry, just ell me, I’m not really in the right mind state to be lied to. Please just tell me.” I looked over to him, the look on his face was pure panic. “Haz.” I nudged him to tell me, with a nicer tone,.
“Zayn kissed me.”
~Harry~
I got home, and saw Zayn sitting on the sofa.
“Hey Zee.” I smiled sitting next to him.
“Hey, mate. So did you get Lou to go to the therapy place?” He asked.
“Uh, yeah. How’d you know?” I laughed, no one else knew I was having trouble getting Boo to go.
“It was obvious that he didn’t want to go when he yelled about not wanting to go.” He rolled his eyes, and stared at me.
“Yeah, that was basically his whole argument he didn’t wan-” He pressed his lips to mine.
I quickly pulled away as soon as I realized what was happening. “Zay- what the hell?!” I jumped away from him..
“Harry I’m so sor-” He started.
“Do you realized my boyfriend just got out of the hospital because he tried to commit suicide because he thought I was cheating on him. With you!” I yelled at him. “I have to go.” I just about ran to the door.
I can’t do this to Lou, I need to tell him.
Have you guys read Chasing The Moment, and Chasing Harry? I fucking love those stories. I’m on chapter 23 of Chasing Harry. #SoPissed D: Anyway. Let me know what you think, and check out those stories their really good.
Oh and today (June 19th, 2013) My 1st dog Fang passed away two years ago :( RIP Fang <3
Please vote/comment/follow love you all xxJ
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Trapped (Larry and Ziall AU)**Completed**
Fanfiction**Completed**Louis and Niall grew up in foster care, they were best friends, but when they are finally adopted at ages 9 and 11, they were seperated. Niall got adopted in to the Payne family and makes a new best friend, Liam. But 7 years later, when...
