Just Married

07: Just Arresting

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Theodore ended up in jail. That idiot managed to get himself locked up in a freaking jail that wasn’t even in our city. I had to sit here in the police station, trying to find a way to bail his sorry ass out of that cell, all because I was his wife, and trust me, trying to convince the police officers that we were married with only our plastic rings from the vending machine as evidence was a whole other arrest in itself. If I gave a cop one more dirty look, I would’ve ended up in jail myself.

“Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. There’s no loitering in the police station,” Officer Kramer said, according to his name tag.

“My husband is in there. I am trying to bail him out,” I retorted, ignoring the officer. I managed to steal Theo’s phone before they took it into custody too. Not having a cellphone is like the biggest first world problem there is out there.

“Husband? What are you, like twelve?” Officer Kramer snorted.

“Eighteen,” I snapped. It was so odd of me to get so worked up about something I would have laughed about a few months ago. Theo getting into jail was in a way inevitable and just so Theo-like, it would have been a joke, but now it’s not. I have panic and fear all ridden inside of me, like I’m worried about him. I put a hand to my temples and sighed. “Listen, sir, I am just trying to be a good wife and get my husband out of jail. If you please just let me do my thing.”

“Young idiots,” he muttered, walking away to his front desk. We were stuck inside of a police station that was one of those boondocks kind of areas, where there’s one police officer, Kramer, and three cells. Talk about the lonely life. Officer Kramer was a little stout, and he had a handle bar mustache thing going on, except it looked like someone tasered the left half off by a margin. I rolled my eyes as he sat back at his desk with his feet propped up like he owned the place.

It just so happened that some random police officer was cruising down the highway when Theo hit something that was in the road. I was literally having a heart attack in the passenger seat as he got out of the car to check on what he hit. He hit a fucking deer. Trust me, I told Theo not to mess with me, and what do you know, there was an injured deer lying in front of his car. Animal control, the police were all over us like crazy. Thank goodness the wild and crazed deer was fine, because heaven only knows what would happen to Theo if he was found guilty for murdering a deer.

Miraculously, they only jailed Theo for “reckless driving.” Now I had to figure out a way to get him out.

Dialing Lana’s number, I begged her to pick up. But of course she didn’t.

“If your name is not Peyton, Coraline, Theodore, or James or if you’re not one of my parents, feel free to leave a message. And no, this is not Lana Del Rey.”

I heard that message at least five times before I gave up and tried James’ number.

“Hi. Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now. I’m too busy being a van der May and trying not to die from the incessant pressure of being one. Leave a message. Bye.”

I wondered what happened to leaving regular messages for voicemails. I left both of them urgent and curse word filled messages telling them to get here as soon as possible. Groaning, I walked back into the jail, only to conveniently find Officer Kramer twitching in a restless sleep.

“Cora.” My head swiveled over to Theo who motioned me to go over. As stealthily as I could, I walked over to Theo and he whispered, “The key is in the first drawer. Get it.”