Blurred (Colby Brock)

Liar, Liar

For the rest of our Thanksgiving week, Colby and I never had a chance to talk about that day. Even if we had, I wouldn't have known what to say.

Charlie was convinced that throughout my entire heated moment with "my lover"-- she had called him-- I had been drunk... on love.

Is that even possible?

But fate had a different plan which involved my first Thanksgiving without my parents and brother. Throughout the whole day that was meant to be about being thankful for what you have, I was mourning over what I didn't.

Basically, there wasn't much room in my thoughts or heart for the brown headed boy, anyway.

Our family from different parts of the U.S. came to Kansas. My dad's two brothers and sister brought their kids and dogs and they seemed to have a grand time.

And I tried-- I really did. I tried to keep a smile on my face and a laugh in my throat but they all kept saying the things that had weathered my heart in the first place.

I'm sorry for your loss.
You're so strong.
They would be so proud of you.

There was no escape.

Kids on the dock, teenagers invading my precious swing set, adults scattered throughout the entire house-- no where was safe.

As it always did at times like those, my anxiety declared war. My throat began to shrink and it became harder and harder to breathe. The house around me started to tilt and turn.

So I staggered into my bathroom in search of my medicine.

Now, I had been trying to ease off the pills. Not because they were dangerous, but because I was desperate to prove the doctors wrong.

They said I'd be depressed and there was a large chance I'd attempt suicide-- and those were just a few of the less crazy side effects.

But really, what do you expect from an 18 year old girl that lost everything?

Also, Colby was really good at getting me through attacks. Not that he knew that's what he was doing. He was just always calm and spoke to me like I was a normal human being and not the alien the doctors tried to label me as.

So I considered calling him.

But then I realized that he would most likely be visiting with his family or eating and I certainly didn't want to get between he and his food.

So I fell back on plan B.

When my blood pumped through my veins at a normal rate and my vision had returned to a bearable blur, I left the bathroom.

Once I had the door open, what I saw in front of me made the rest of my day. Well, up until around two in the afternoon, but we'll get to that later.

Jake stood with a leash connected to a collar. The collar wrapped around a dog that had reindeer ears and a tiara balanced on his head. He had neon colored chalk drawn all over his dark fur and all of the white splotches that peppered his skin were coated in thick layers of pink, sparkly glitter.

I couldn't help the smile that cracked through my stone set face.

Jake shrugged. "He said he missed you."

I pulled my two boys into a hug and smiled.

"How ya holding up?" He asked me when we had pulled away.

I smiled. "I think I'll be okay. You?"

He shrugged. "Been better."

"Yeah..." I sighed and nodded understandingly.