"I don't want to fall in love with him," She sighs, "because, when it's over, I don't want to paint over my blue walls because blue reminds me of his eyes. I don't want to look at his face in the halls and think of what I could've had. I don't want to avoid all guys with the same kind of hair as him because 'it's too painful to remember'. I don't want to know that he couldn't possibly love me back. I don't want to have my heart be broken for the eighth time proving that, unlike the average women, I won't be falling in love seven times before I find the one. I don't want my world to crumble apart in front of my eyes again. I don't want to have to force myself out of bed every morning because I feel like there is nothing for me out there. I don't want my mother to feel like it's her fault that she didn't protect me better when I stop wanting this life. I don't want to lose myself in him."
"But." She chokes. "I don't want to fall in love with a different pair of eyes. I don't want to relearn the little parts that make him up. I don't want to buy another diary to write someone else's name repeatedly in. I don't want to start all over. I don't want to settle for less. I don't want to discard all the memories I've made and the experiences that the next guy won't understand. I don't want to have to take other paths because I don't want to run into him anymore. I don't want a different voice sending shivers down my spine. I don't want the butterflies that I get when I see him to ever go away. I don't want my skin to stop lighting on fire when he touches me. I don't want to forget his eyes memorizing every inch of me like it's the last time. I don't want to feel this way anymore but I don't know how to WANT to live without him."
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Poems
الشعر"I know that sometimes for people, I feel like too much; But let me kiss away the phantom pain that the scars remind you of, Let me kiss the burns on your hands, From when you touched the burning fire within my soul. Let me show you that yes, I am...
