The Letter That Answers Everything **In Editing**

Chapter 12

*1 month later, Christina's P.O.V.*

I had been clean for a month. No self harm and Jinxx had taken all of my cigarettes and Andy always had his with him. I hadn't smoked in more than a month. Andy always had his lighter with him too, or hid it. Jinxx wouldn't let me drink either and if he did it was rare and I was under watch. And if I got sick, one of the guys gave me the medicine so I didn't O.D. I appreciated the help, but I had never hurt myself other than cutting.

I was laying in my bed, listening to music when I felt a cold draft. I opened my eyes as I heard the door slam shut. I shrugged and closed my eyes again. The next thing I knew, someone was shaking me awake. I mumbled and rolled over.

"Chris, wake up." Came Andy's deep voice.

"What?" I mumbled.

"You need to come see this." He said.

"Later." I mumbled. The next thing I knew, he was lifting me from the bunk. I squealed and clung to his neck. He carried me out of the bunk and set me down outside. I looked around, shocked at what I saw.

Outside the tour bus was a herd of wild mustangs. If you knew me, you knew I was crazy for horses. Like I was entranced, like I was under a spell, like my feet had a mind of their own. Step by step, I moved towards them. Andy tried grabbing my wrist, but I was just out of reach.

"Christina, no!" He whisper-shouted. I ignored him.

I moved up to a horse, splattered black and white. It looked at me and took a couple of steps back, giving a snort of disapproval and stamping its hoof.

"Christina! Get back here, now!" Jinxx said, a little louder. I ignored him too.

I raised my hand, slowly and gently up to the mustang. His ears twitched, then lay flat on his head. I held my hand in place, not moving. He slowly lowered his head and nudged my hand. I smiled. I moved my hand closer, laying it on the horses forehead. He nudged me again and whinnied. I smiled, then moved to the side, petting him gently. He watched me with a close eye, as did the others. I laid my head on the shoulder blade, resting for a moment, then moved back, closer to his main. I grabbed a lock and tugged gently at it, then in one swift motion, hoisted myself up onto his back. He threw his head back, giving a loud, shrill whinny, but staying in place. I smiled and laid down, wrapping my arms around his neck.

I sat up and nudged his side and he moved forward, his herd following. I couldn't believe I was riding a wild mustang. I smiled to myself and nudged his side again. He sped up slightly and trotted around in the grass, then stopped to graze.

"Chris!" I turned and saw Jinxx calling me again. I sighed. He was getting impatient. I slid off of his back and he looked at me. I pouted my lower lip and turned to walk away. He stamped his hoof and I turned. He reared, then bolted off towards a near by forest. I smiled to myself and ran back to BVB.

I had a huge smile on my face, but of course Jinxx quickly ruined that for me.

"What the hell were you thinking?!?" He scolded. "You could have been seriously hurt! Those were wild horses, Christina!" He shouted. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Get inside, now!" He commanded me. I walked up the bus steps and back to the bunk I was previously laying in. I laid down and I could hear the guys talking out in the living room.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, guys." Ashley said. I could hear his approaching footsteps as I stared at the top of the bunk. A shadow covered me and I turned my head to see Ashley standing there, a wide smile on his face.

"Don't listen to Jinxx, I thought that was pretty damn cool!" He said. I smiled.

"Haha, thanks Ash." I said.

"No problem. You going to bed?" At the word bed, I felt a yawn rising. I stifled it and nodded. "Ok, night Crissy." He said.

"Night Ash." I said as he walked to the bathroom. As the bathroom door closed, I closed my eyes and let the darkness overtake me. I smiled at my dreams of actually getting on the mustang and running away.

*The dream*

I walked up to the pitch black horse and without any hesitation, I jumped up onto his back. He reared and took off, Jinxx and Andy calling out behind me. I ignored them as the horses speed picked up. I was done with them. I smiled as the black stallion glided over a fallen tree and landed smoothly.

He dodged in and out of trees and finally came to a clearing. I smiled and slid off of his back. I walked to a tree and laid down under it. He lay next to me and I moved so I was using his back as a pillow. I smiled to myself as I drifted off to sleep, only to be awake what seemed like not even 10 minutes later.

My horse was gone and in front of me loomed a tall shadow. I looked up and saw a black panther with sickly yellow eyes. I scrambled to my feet and it pounced on me, knocking me back again. I screamed just as it was about to swipe my face.

*End of dream*

I woke up, laying on Andy's chest. It was dark in the bus and the only noises were the low rumbled of the bus' engine, the other cars occupying the highway and Andy's heart beat. I focused on his heart beat, the slow calming noises as his chest melodically rose and fell. Rose and fell. Rose and fell and I was soon cast away to another land were dreams ruled my life. But these dreams weren't much happier.

*New dream*

I cried as I hid from an enraged Collin. He had escaped jail and cornered me in my house. The guys were away on tour and left me behind.

He cornered me and bent down, placing a large, bear-like hand on my shoulder. He slid it down and grabbed my hand, yanking me up, then tossing me onto the bed. I whimpered as he removed his shirt and straddled me.

*End dream*

I woke up and my face was streaked with tears. Andy was sitting up in his bunk, holding me tightly.

"What happened Chris?" He asked me. I simply shook my head, indicating I didn't want to talk about it. Andy nodded and slid back down, kissed my head and in an instant he had drifted back to sleep, leaving me awake.

I laid awake for what seemed like hours in the bus and every noise seemed to be amplified a million times. I was freezing cold right now and I had a headache. So, for example-A passing car's engine seemed to be a lion's roar. A truck's engine-A dragon's roar. When a car or truck beeped it sent a shock of pain bursting through my head, making my headache worse.

I groaned and rolled over again. Now I was face-to-face with the cold wall. I sighed, irritated and rolled back to my original spot which was hot and uncomfortable. I rolled over again so I was once more on Andy's chest and instantly he wrapped his arm around me, holding me close. His embrace was warm and comforting. I was soon tired and finally drifted back to sleep.