Nowhere

Chapter 34

Chapter song: As Long As You Love Me by Justin Bieber
(Val's pov)
-5am-
Justin frees me from my bondage, and I can't stop whimpering.
"Valerie."
Justin lifts me up and holds me tight, and I can't stop crying either.
"God dammit, I'm sorry. Baby, I'm sorry."
His body is warm and home-like. I break down on him as he holds me so close.
"We need to get out of here."
Justin sacrifices his shirt to put it around me.
"I'll show you the way out."
The guy behind us tells Justin as I proceed to break apart.
"C'mon babe."
Justin leads me out the door but I keep my eyes closed the whole time. My heart hurts more than anything. So many things are pressuring me to feel trapped and worthless.
"Chaz, thank you man. I'll pay you back as soon as I can. You have my number."
Justin's chest buzzes a little from speaking and his heartbeats are racing like it's a matter of life or death.
"Nah. You don't have to. Did you get hurt or anything?"
The guy, Chaz, asks in a friendly concern.
"I'm fine, but I need to get back home."
Justin's fingers press into my shoulders, an action of comfort.
"Yea, it's 6am. I'll see you around, bro."
Chaz pats Justin's shoulder.
"Ok."
It's difficult to maintain my anguish and get into Justin's car.
"Valerie. Dammit babygirl. I'm sorry."
His words appear regretful and guilty with his injured voice.
"How did you find me?"
I manage to whisper, mostly from my maimed soul.
"Chaz is apart of that. He told me where to go. Baby, this is all my fault. I should've thought it all through."
The muscles in his arms tensed as he drives towards his house.
"They were so mean."
Another hot tear streams down my cheek, dropping onto Justin's shirt.
"You're so beautiful. Baby, you don't deserve that. That was so fucked up. Val, you're so much better than what they say you are."
Justin parks in his garage and takes me hand. Refusing to communicate with his eyes, I sniffle continuously to prevent myself from crying again.
Justin meets me on the other side, opening the car door for me and offering a hand. There's so second thoughts when I take his hand, but his touch makes me want to cry all over again.
"Hold onto me, baby. It's ok."
But he doesn't know that if I do, I'll shatter into tears. We enter his house and head upstairs, my body fearing to coalesce with his.
"Here, take this baby."
Without touching me, Justin hands me a stack of clothes. His eyes are solicitous and full of infatuation. I take it and quickly break our contact.
"I'll be right back."
His hand touches my cheek before he evacuates the room, shutting the door behind him. The feeling of his fingertips are imprinted into my skin. It's like his touch is prone to contaminate my soul.
On the verge of crying, I put on the clothes in the stack: a fresh pair of white panties and one of Justin's grey t-shirts. After I change, I sit on the bed and put my head in my hands, lavender hair drooping everywhere.
I can't believe what happened tonight. I was going to be sold as property to a stranger. What would've happened if Justin didn't show up? Would I have been in a more severe situation? Is this what people see me as, property? Is this what Justin sees me as? Oh, damn this hurts so much. I am nothing but a whore. I am property. I am not a human being.
"You alright? I got you some medicine, just in case you're lying about not being hurt."
Justin actually believes that I lie to him. In other words, he figured out that I'm an insincere person. I can see why he thinks that; I've given him enough proof.
"Valerie. Do you need me to do anything for you?"
It's obvious that he wants me to be honest and look at him in the eye, but it's impossible to do. I shake my head and feel his fingertips burn into my palm when he lays the pills. My eyes sting a little from it. I swallow the pills and continue to avoid contact.
"Are you sure? Do you need me to hold you? Hug you? Kiss you?"
Those words are so tempting, because deep inside, I want to. But I don't want to disintegrate.
So I shake my head, and Justin nods. Then he manages to finagle me into an overwhelming hug. My heart overflows with anguish, and my chest feels like he's burning into me. My eyes well with tears, throat caves in; then I break down, piece by piece, tear by tear, all over again.
"I've got you, Valerie. I know it hurts. I'll do whatever you want. Please, let me help you as much as I can. I won't let you down, Val. I need you. I love you."
Justin's lips murmur against my neck, his fluffy hair resting on my shoulder. It's inextricable to speak. All I do is cry, sob, spill all over him.
"I h-hate being p-property-y."
Sobbing into his shoulder, I shake and whimper into his embrace.
"Fuck...You're not property, Val. You're a real person. You have as much freedom as everyone else. Don't think like this. You're not property."
But that's what it feels like. I feel like I'm property. That's what everyone stamped into my mind.
"Justin..."
I've run out of words. All I want to do is rest, so I calm down until my crying has precluded.
"We need to get some rest."
Justin pulls me into the sheets and spoons me close. As much as I dislike the physical contact, I know deep inside that I need it to heal.
-2pm-
My body's so sore, and Justin's not beside me when I arouse. The tragedy of last night hit me like a hammer. Sighing deeply, I get up and head to the bathroom. As I get the water started, I strip out of my clothes. It requires a ridiculous amount of effort to not think about last night, earlier this morning.
The warm water eases my distress while I take this personal time to breathe. I haven't had a chance to breathe, let it all go. A cigarette sounds good, but if it's to recede the pain, I'm gonna need something way stronger.
After my shower, I find myself staring in the mirror. What have I become? A slut, whore, slave, toy, but worst of all, property.
Finally I gather myself up, leaving pieces behind as I walk out. However, I'm standing directly in front of Justin.
"Good morning, beautiful."
He envelops me and inhales my pain, squeezing me tight. The scent of pancakes and eggs surrounds me.
"Did you cook something?"
I mumble, mostly because my throat hurts too much to talk.
"In your dreams. Here, I got this for you."
Justin chuckles as he motions me to sit on the bed. He hands me a few pills, which I take without knowing what effect they might have.
"My maids are making lunch. It should be here soon."
He takes a seat beside me, leg touching mine. Silently, I nod and give him the best smile I can.
"How do you feel?"
His fingertips press tenderly into my jaw, signaling me to face him. I do.
"Better."
By the tone of my voice, I think I made it sound too dishonest.
"Are you still mad at me?"
It takes a moment for me to figure out his question. He's talking about our past argument.
"No. Why would I be mad at you?"
I look at him with my brows furrowed.
"I don't know. I acted like a dick, and I don't know if you hate me or not."
Justin saved my ass last night. How can I hate him?
"I love you."
Leaning in for a hug, I mumble loud enough for him to hear.
"I love you too."
Justin does exactly what I want. He hugs me, burrowing his face in my neck. His hugs are my favorite, because they make me feel safe. His breathing is audible in the comfortable silence. Justin's hugs give me warmth and love. The scent of marshmallow increased from his closeness. He halts the time so I can feel his heartbeats and sense his love. He places so much effort in transferring comfort to me—it's eccentric. There's no way to describe the feeling I get when he hugs me. I'm just thankful for him.

(A/N: Omigod. My wifi is so terrible. I've tried all night last night but I couldn't post guys. It's sucks sooooo bad.😁😩😡 Next post should be on Wednesday)

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