Nowhere

Chapter 28

Chapter song: Prisoner by The Weeknd feat. Lana Del Rey
(Val's pov)
-5am-
Long night.
Long night fucking guys for my "master's" own desire. I get nothing in return. Ben released me late tonight, or morning, and I'm going home.
Right now I can't stand it. I can't stand the mistreatment, abuse on me. How could I let this happen? Why?
Remembering Justin's words, I hold back the tears and pull out my phone. He asked me to call him when I come back. He's either asleep or fucking with some other girl. I have a bad qualm that he's not alone, which snaps me in two.
A fool I'd be if I dare knock on his door. Instead I lock myself in my apartment room, sinking into my warm, comfy bed.
I can't sleep for some stupid reason. Maybe it's from the weed I inhaled yesterday. Maybe it's the tempting urge to call Justin. Maybe it's the desire for Justin. I don't know, but I can't sleep.
To kill time, I lay motionless in my peaceful bed and think about everything. The sunrise is gorgeous from my window. The city is aroused and probably recovering from a major hangover. That's what it's like in Vegas, always a Friday night, always a party.
There's a soft, uneasy knock on the door, so I sit up and let the soreness overwhelm me. Sex with strangers is terrible, leaves me sore. Sex with Justin is incredible, leaves me bruised, internally and externally.
"Baby."
Without permission, Justin envelopes me before I can speak a word.
"Hey cupcake."
There's not much to say to him, not after he's been screwing around.
"I thought you said you'd call me."
He obviously didn't get a good sleep last night. His feet are dragging.
"I was too tired."
Yea, tired of life. That counts as being tired.
"You ok? Did you get hurt?"
He studies me all over, but it compels me to smile.
"I'm fine."
Clearly that's a deception,  but of course he passes right by it.
"Good."
Permitting himself, he takes my waist and draws me near, his humid breath hitting my neck.
"What are you doing up so early?"
Touching his chiseled jawline, I question him with a smile.
"Checking on you."
His grin can't get any more perfect. Everything about him brings a spark to my eye. Perfection, that's what he is. Unlike me.
"It's too early for breakfast."
Justin states, skillful hands still at my waist.
I'm nothing but sex, pleasure. Sex for Ben. Sex for Justin. Sex for everybody. Don't worry, it's on me. That's how fucked up I am.
"You're beautiful."
Justin finagles me on the bed. He says I'm beautiful. In other words, he's hunting for sex.
"What am I to you?"
Halting the moment, I stare in his lustful eyes.
"Val, you're everything to me. Why?"
Oh, he knows why. He knows that I know I'm nothing but sex.
"...Can you go?"
Repeating yesterday's scene, I sit up and put my messy head in my hands.
"Val, not again. What'd I do?"
Removing his hands from my body, Justin stares at me in a faze.
"Nothing. I just need you to go."
But he did everything. He's caused me to see myself in a totally foreign way, and I despise what I see.
"Valerie. I don't wanna go. I wanna stay here. Tell me what I'm doing wrong. I can fix it. I swear."
Kneeling on the floor with his elbows resting on the bed, he looks at me in sustenance. The lust in his eyes has vanished and desperation has replaced it.
"This isn't your fault. I'm sorry, baby...I just hate that I'm worth nothing."
Regret drips off every word, because I didn't mean to hurt Justin. How ironic.
"Nothing? Val, how could you say tha-"
"Don't you dare say I'm beautiful, Justin, because I'm not. I have to go through hell every night, obeying orders to my fucking 'master.' What kind of fucked up shit is that to own someone? I'm not property. I'm a human being. I'm not a sex toy. Why can't anyone realize that?"
Then the long-awaited tears fall, the truth blossoms, and the walls come crashing down.
"...Is that what's happening? Val, is someone forcing you into that?"
Justin's voice is fragile and soft as snow. Sex slavery. That's what he means.
Nothing else to do, I nod and proceed to break down in front of his chocolate eyes.
"Dammit, baby come here."
My body is then being embraced by Justin. The safety makes me cry harder.
"Shh, it's ok, love."
His devastated whisper hits against my temple, and I press myself deeper into his heartbeat. We sit there in silence, allowing ourselves to reflect on the moment. Justin holds me close until I realize I owe him a more-detailed explanation.
"You can't tell anyone."
First, it comes out as a whisper; then I isolate myself from his consoling touch.
"I won't. But Val, dammit, I have to help you-"
"No Justin. He-"
"You're gonna get hurt, baby. I mean, seriously hurt. You could get drugged, or beaten, or killed. Val, I can't take that."
The tone of his voice is solicitous and concerned.
"He threatened to get me pregnant."
In addition to my confession, I pile more regret on top of it.
"That's so fucked up. Valerie."
Justin touches my cheek and brushes his thumb over it.
"I'm scared. There's no way out, Justin."
Hugging myself for comfort, I sniffle and wipe my welled-up eyes.
"Listen, I'm gonna help you. But I can't make it obvious because I don't want you to get hurt. I'll think of something, ok? Trust me."
I'm not sure why, but I nod. I hand over my trust to him, like it's nothing, like it's my virginity. Why not? I already handed everything else to him.
"God, that's so fucked up."
His mutters are disgusted with my situation. I don't blame him, because I'm just as disgusted.
"Can we get breakfast?"
Changing the topic, I calm down and stand up.
"Yea, sure baby."
Justin nods, and I change into something more comfortable while he keeps muttering to himself.
Once I'm ready, he takes my hand and leads me outside.
"Pancakes?"
It's so weird how he's completely changed moods on me. He was horny just a minute ago.
"Yea."
I silently nod and look out the window. What'll happen now? Does that mean it'll get better? Worse? Will Justin do something stupid?
"I know what we're doing today."
Justin and I enter an IHOP, and we're seated at a booth.
"What?"
I look at him, trying to pull myself out of my thoughts.
"It's a surprise."
His eyebrows flick at me before a waiter approaches us. Of course, Justin's full of surprises.
We place our orders. Justin gets blueberry pancakes and I get banana pancakes.
"It's gonna be fine, Val. Don't worry. We have a whole day ahead of us. Enjoy it."
His voice is soothing, pain-reducing. Quietly I nod and give him a presentable smile.
"Enjoy it or I'll make you."
His voice is seductive and teasing as he leans closer to me.
"Cut it out, babe."
Giggling softly, I push him away as our food arrives.
Luckily I only got a two-stack, because I'm not that hungry.
After breakfast, Justin opens his car door for me to hop in. Unfortunately, I have no idea where we're going, but to be honest, I don't care. As long as nobody sees me, I'm fine, yet still a little paranoid.
"Ready?"
The car stops near a grassy, open field with a small lake surrounded my trees. It looks perfect, deliberately set up just for this occasion.
"Like it?"
Justin takes notice of my gaze and leads me to what-looks-like-a hot air balloon.
"Yea, are we going on it?"
That's a stupid question, but I'm in a crazy mood right now.
"I'll let you answer that."
Justin leads me toward the hot air ballon with my hand in his.

(A/N: You are all invited to my funeral on Friday, because Purpose will destroy me😁😩😭😱😍 Next post is on Thursday)

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