I'm A Loser

Chapter 51.

"John." Stu and I said at the same time. He sat back and took a long drag of his own cigarette.

"I um...I'd like to 'ave a chat." John said calmly. I stood up and fixed my skirt.

"I'll leave you two..."

"No um..Molly stay. I want to speak with both of you."

"Oh." I sat back on Stu's lap.

It was silent for a few seconds until Stu spoke.

"So?? What is it?"

'I 'ave a few of your things at me aunt's place. Cyn and I are stayin with her since...we lost the apartment."

"Thanks." Stu nodded.

"How was the trip?"

"It was great. Met a couple who were good company. Went to a few gigs, went to galleries....it was gear mate." Stu smiled. I kissed his cheek and fixed his hair.

"That's good to hear. Look em...christ you know I'm not good at these sort of talks but...I'm sorry. For everything. The whole lies and bein a fuckin arse about your relationship. I was jealous. I 'ad Molly first and...I 'ad Stu first. My mate and my fuckin one nighter." He laughed awkwardly. "I guess in a way I was quite upset when I found out you two met and when I saw you two in the canteen to tell us you were a couple it was....overwhelming for me. I hid my feelings and the more you two spent time together the more Stuart spent away from me. It was always, Molly this, Molly that. Molly's takin me to this show, I can't go to your gig cause I'm spendin a night in with the girlfriend. Same goes the other way. It was Stuart's takin me to his show, Stuart said I don't need to wear anymore short skirts or makeup, I rather go out with Stuart than go to a gig at The Cavern. It's been bloody hell!"

Stu sighed. "We love eachother John. That's what happens when two people love one another. We do things together, we support one another, we 'ave inside jokes and take trips..."

"Then where's time for your mates huh?? Where's that love?? You're my closest friend Stuart. I love you and....it's hard. Were on an even level of involvement and maturity. I know I can be a dick and I've made advances on Molly before but...everytime she's always been true to you. I was cruel to take advantage of your health. I used that to steer you away from Molly and...it worked. For awhile. Then you became someone else. Angry and tired. You overworked and quit the one thing you were passionate about. It's my fault. If anyone's to blame it's me. I'm that much of a bloke to admit that. I'm not askin you two to forgive me but...I really do mean it when I say I'm sorry. We need you...both of you in the band. Despite what you might think...you're important members in the group. I just can't do this without ye's."

And with that, John got up and left us alone. We stayed silent and with one look at Stu, I nodded and got off his lap, watching him make his way in after John. I stayed out, finishing my cig and smiled to feel hands move over my eyes.

"Guess who."

"George!" I squeaked, pulling him around to hug him tight. He groaned but hugged back.

"I missed you Molly." He whispered.

"I missed you too George." I kissed his cheek. "How've you been?? You haven't been around! We got back a week ago and I've never seen you."

"Oh yeah about that, we were in London for a few days doin a gig in some club. They 'ad us perform for a stripper." He blushed. I couldn't help laughing.

"And?? How did it go?"

"What d'you think?? John shagged her before the gig and then blew the setlist, makin 'er rant and rave onstage in front of about thirty blokes who wanted a show! Well, we ended up finishin our last three days in some dirty pub that wreaked of piss and vomit. Lovely." He rolled his eyes. I laughed and shook my head.