I'm A Loser

Chapter 20.

I sat in class the next day, awkwardly writing in my notebook and avoiding Cynthia's eyes.

After last night, Cynthia left the club in tears. I didn't blame her. I felt completely bad about it and had nothing to do with it. John chased after her, but returned to the club feeling even worse. Although to much of mine and Stu's luck, John admitted he was wrong and we made ammends. He even came back to ours and spent the night after getting drunk out of his mind.

I was surprised when Cyn showed up to classes this morning. She didn't even talk to John or me. I needed to let her know I didn't feel anything for John. That even if he and I were single, I wasn't interested. Even Stuart knew I had no feelings for Lennon. That's what I loved about him. He just knew my love and loyalty to him was true.

The bell rang, making everyone get up and head to their next class. I stood up and caught Cyn before she could leave out the door.

"Cynthia w...wait. Please hear me out." I begged.

She turned to me and looked completely torn. "Why should I?? John obviously knows who he wants."

I sighed and pulled her aside. "I have no feelings for Lennon. I love... look at me."

Her eyes looked at mine from the floor.

"I love Stuart. Believe me. John's just upset because you're driving him crazy. It's obvious he wants you back. Men do this when they can't get the girl they want. You're playing hard to get. He sees Stuart's relationship to me and how commited we are. I think he just wants that for himself."

"And what makes you the expert on men all of a sudden?" She crossed her arms.

I looked down the now empty halls as we stood alone. "I wasn't always a good girl. I'll admit it. I was the girl at clubs who fucked around with other guys and went to gigs in the hopes of screwing a musician. An abusive relationship later I...I lost all hope in true love. I was used to being pushed around and treated badly. To me, that was love. George was my best friend and when he took me to a party one night...I met Stuart and...I fell in love. Real love. I will never let it go or lose him for anyone or anything."

She stayed silent and took all of this in. "George was your best friend?"

I looked at her. "Is. He is my best friend. Look Cynthia just know, I would never try to take John. Believe me."

We stood silently, just looking at one another. Her eyes scanning mine for the truth. After thinking and wiping her eyes, she nodded.

"I believe you. I just...I love John so much he just doesn't see it." She sniffled. I pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back.

"Then show him." I pulled away.

"How?" She asked. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the ladies room. She stood silently as I lit a cigarette and put it between my lips. I climbed onto a counter and popped open the window all the way. She looked at me strangely as I looked down.

"We'll make a soft landing."

"Wha...what!? Molly this is crazy!"

"Shhhh. I have a plan. You want John back don't you??"

She bit her lip and nodded. "Yes."

"Okay then. Come on toss me your bag."

She threw it up at me along with mine. I tossed them out the window and looked at her.

"I'm going to jump down. You follow after alright? I'll catch you."

"Molly there has to be another way.."